She's The One
by englishpetal
Summary: What if you realised one day that you had lost your soulmate years ago? And how would you ever get them back? SamLuka fic, set in the future with hints of Carby. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Well what more can I say, this is a Sam/Luka fic that will become a shipper. I've rated it T, just to be safe, for future chapters. It is set 5 years from the end of S12 / beginning of S13 and is all together spoiler free. It may also become a bit Carby-ish later on, but I haven't decided yet. So please, read and review, because I love to know what you think! Love, Petal x

She's The One.

When Luka Kovac woke up that morning, he felt just like he did every other day, exhausted, depressed and directionless. Well, not completely directionless, his son gave him a purpose in life, whether he was fulfilling that purpose he didn't know but he suspected not. He had never planned to be a part-time single father but that's just the way things turned out.

He dragged himself down each aisle in the supermarket, throwing items into the cart that he only ever bought when Joe came to stay with him - apples, oranges, carrot sticks, fruit juice. When he's on his own in the apartment he lives on takeout and microwave ready meals, he's a doctor so he knows he shouldn't because of the health risks but it always seems like such a waste to cook a meal for just one person. He gets lonely, not that he'd ever admit it to anyone, but he'd got to a point where he wished he had someone in his life. Since he split up with Abby, he gone out with women but no one that had really meant anything to him, most of them just either wanted him for sex or wanted him so they could play stepmommy to his son. He hadn't realised before how much of a chick-magnet a young child was, not that it was doing him much good in finding Miss Right.

Luka thought that today was just another day, but when he turned into the dairy aisle he saw something that would ensure that today turned out like no other.

_"Is that ... no it can't be ... it is ... it's ... Sam."_ Luka thought, watching her place cartons of milk, yoghurt and cheese into her shopping cart, and as she did so, she leant in to kiss the little girl who was sitting in the front of the cart. _"Is that her daughter?"_ As he was trying to decide whether or not to approach her, Joe ran past him to get to the cartons of strawberry milk and crashed into Sam on the way.

"Sorry." Joe said ever so sweetly and looked up at her and smiled. "You're a pretty lady" He giggled.

"That's all right sweetheart and you are a very handsome little boy. What's your name?" Sam asked softly and ruffled his hair.

"Joe, with an 'e'." The boy replied proudly.

"Well Joe with an 'e', where is your Mommy or Daddy?" Sam asked, but as she looked up, she got her answer.

Luka smiled at her and gave her a little wave, as he walked towards her, he said "Hey you, it's been a really long time."

"Yeah it has, come here." Sam laughed and opened her arms to pull him in for a hug. He held her close and cursed himself for how good it felt to have her in his arms again, to have anyone in his arms again. She released her grip on him and stood back to take in the view of Luka and his son.

There was no doubt that they were father and son, the little boy shared Luka's deep, dark eyes, gorgeous, thick hair and his height and build, it was like looking at Luka's Mini-Me. Luka himself though looked run down, like he hadn't been taken care of himself, Sam was concerned and wondered what was going on with him.

Luka stood back and fully appreciated how good Sam looked, she was still petite and slim, her hair was long, straight and blond with bangs that nicely framed her face. Her eyes sparkled, she wore a beautiful smile, and clothes that made her look every inch the mature, sophisticated woman Luka always knew she was. He couldn't help but notice that the little girl looked just like her with her brown eyes and hair to match.

Sam noticed Luka's eyes on her little girl and thought she should introduce her. "Oh sorry, Luka this is my daughter Grace. Grace this is my friend Luka, he's a doctor."

Grace stared up at Luka and beamed. "Hi" She waved her hand frantically.

"Hello Grace. Er, I'm a doctor?" Luka looked confused.

Sam laughed. "Grace doesn't really like men, but if they're doctors she doesn't mind them. I don't really know where that originated from, maybe it's the white coat?" She laughed again. "So, how are you? What have you been doing? Where are you working?" She leaned backwards onto the cart, tilted her head back and flicked her hair over her shoulder. _"What am I doing?"_ She thought. _"I can't flirt with him, I'm married."_

"Well, I'm still at County, attempting to run a department and failing, looking after this one," Luka pulled Joe in front of him and held him still, "Well that is when he's not running around wildly making me want to pull my hair out." He chuckled in that deep Croatian accent that Sam loved.

"Yeah, I can understand that. He's wonderful though Luka, he's the spitting image of you. And he looks really well and happy, you and Abby must take good care of him. He's five now right?"

Luka was thrown by the mention of Abby, _"of course she doesn't know"._ "Er, yeah, turned five earlier in the summer. So, how's Alex, and what's going on with you? Start with where that little one came from." Luka put on a smile and gestured towards Grace.

"Alex is great, he's about to become a senior, talking about colleges, he wants to stay fairly close to us, but far enough away so he can go to keg parties." Sam laughed, and Luka noticed that she did that a lot. "And as for me, I got married a couple of months after I left County. His name's Drew, we had Grace, she's three now, we moved to the other side of town, but we moved back this way last month so that I can be closer to Richard, he needs me more these days." Sam paused for a breath and Luka could see the sadness in her eyes. "But, other than that, everything's good. So, how's Abby and who's still working at County?"

"Um, Kerry's still Chief of Staff, she's gonna be there long after we're all dead and gone, Pratt's an attending and he's gonna be Chief when I'm done, we work good together these days. There's Abby, she's an attending as well and Ray, he stuck around too. Er, Neela is still up in surgery, during her residency. Carter's back, again, we've all made bets on when he's gonna run off back to the jungle. All of the nurses are still there, Frank and Jerry obviously, I don't think we'll ever get rid of them. And then there's new residents, and interns and med students. We got a pretty good team. But if you ever want to come back, you are more than welcome, everyone misses you." Luka said, hoping that she wouldn't notice that he didn't say anything about him and Abby.

"I know that you're just saying that to flatter me, but thank you anyway, I'm sure that everyone forgot about me five minutes after I walked out of the door." Sam said. She opened her mouth to say something else but was cut off by her cellphone ringing. "Sorry, I'll just get this." She said to Luka before grabbing her phone out of her purse and answering it.

"I certainly didn't forget you." Luka said under his breath.

"Hey honey ... Yeah we're just in the supermarket. Sure I can pick up some lamb. Oh baby, you don't have to make dinner, you've been at work all day. All right, okay," she giggled, "I'll make dinner tomorrow then ... Yes I will. You can get off work Saturday, that's great. So you'll take Alex shopping? Good, he always gets embarrassed when he's out with me. Yeah, she's perfect today, the cold is definitely gone. Okay then baby, I'll see you at home. I love you too, bye!" Sam smiled as she put the phone back into her purse, she looked genuinely happy, and Luka was pleased for her, although he wished he could have made her that happy when they were together.

"Sorry about that." Sam cleared her throat, feeling a little embarrassed that she'd behaved all lovey-dovey with her husband in front of her ex.

"No, not at all, he sounds like a really good guy." Luka said, glad that the phone conversation was over as it had made him more than a little uncomfortable.

"He is, and we're not always that unbearably sweet either, we just like to call each other during the day, because it can be hard to find time to talk every night after work, with the kids and all. I mean, you know, with your schedules I have no idea how you and Abby keep up with everything." Sam said, giving him her doe-eyed look, that she knew just melted his heart.

"Actually, it didn't work out with Abby, we broke up when Joe was about 18 months old. We get on well now though, which is good, for Joe's sake at least. We share custody, he has one week with me and then one week with her, it hasn't worked out exactly as I planned, but then again if I'm honest it was always a disaster waiting to happen." Luka stopped_, "Why am I telling her this? I haven't seen her in four years!"_ He thought, but for some reason he couldn't quite explain, he felt close to Sam and he felt like he could trust her. Luka sighed, "It's not as simple as you have a child, fall in love and live happily ever after is it?"

"No, it's not, and mainly because those first two things should be the other way around." Sam replied sadly. They both stood there in silence for a few moments with their children staring at them, fascinated by their interaction. "Well, um, we should probably get going." Sam said, desperate to break the silence.

"Yes, us too, so I'll see you around?" Luka nodded nervously.

"Definitely, good luck with everything. It was good to see you, really good."

"Yeah, it was good to see you too, erm..." Luka leaned in to hug her goodbye, but with Joe still standing in front of him, they only managed to form a strange sort of 'half-hug', which made them both feel even more uncomfortable.

"So ... goodbye!" Sam exclaimed, a bit too excitedly than she had planned.

"Bye. And goodbye to you Grace." Luka gave her a smile which elicited another frantic hand wave from Sam's small daughter.

And before he knew it, Sam was gone, she turned on her heel and pushed her shopping cart away from him and then around the corner so that she was out of sight. Luka couldn't help but stand there for a few moments in silence, thinking about everything he once had with Sam, and that he had then lost. As he came back to his senses, he diverted his attention to his son, "So, what do you want to have for dinner tonight? Mashed potatoes? Burgers?"

A while later as Sam headed up the chocolate and candy aisle, she once more saw Luka's tall form walking towards her. "Well hello again." She said, a smile on her face. "It looks like today, the gods really want us to meet, so how about we exchange numbers and meet up sometime next week, we can have lunch, and catch up properly."

"That sounds good." Luka replied, feeling happy that he would get to see her again, he got out his cellphone so he could program in her number.

"So now that that's all done, I will say goodbye again, for the last time today and I will see you very soon." Sam smiled brightly and hugged Luka, this time for a proper hug and it didn't feel uncomfortable at all, in fact it felt natural, too natural, Sam thought, after all this time apart. _"I hope I'm not getting myself into something really dangerous." _Sam thought to herself.

And so, they parted again, and Luka watched Sam walk away from him, and as she did Joe turned to Luka and asked, "Daddy, who was that pretty lady?"

"Sam? Well, she's..." He struggled to find the right words. "She was the one."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Thank you so much for the all the reviews, they make me happy! So here is Chapter 2, sorry if it's a bit boring and non-eventful, I'm just trying to lay the foundations. Anyway, read, enjoy and review! Love, Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 2.

Sam stood in her marble bathroom and began to apply her make-up whilst looking at her reflection in the mirror; she did her base foundation and her mascara, and as she went to reach for her eyeliner she asked herself if she should really be making her face up like this. _"It isn't a date, it's lunch with an old friend, the fact that he is also an ex-boyfriend is neither here nor there, it is not a date, it is not a party, or a wedding, there will be no pictures taken, I do not have to make myself look good for him." _She told herself. But she still took eyeshadow, blush and a lipstick out of her dresser drawer and placed them onto the counter next to one of the basins. As she did so, Sam scanned the room she was sitting in, the huge luxurious bathroom that was bigger than most apartments she had lived in, with two showers and the bathtub which also doubled as a jacuzzi; the marble floor and matching statues; the antique paintings that hung on the wall and the photograph on her dresser of her and her family at Grace's baptism. She smiled at the thought of her perfect life, and it was perfect, she had everything that she could ever want, beautiful children, a lovely home and a husband who she adored and who treated her like a queen. With this in mind, she quickly threw the 'red hot lover' lipstick back into the drawer, "I definitely do not want this to be a date." Sam said out loud, and at that moment in time she was being honest with herself.

Luka sat in his parked car, and checked out his appearance in the rear view mirror, he arranged his hair roughly with his fingers and sighed deeply. His heart was beating quicker than usual and he realised how nervous he felt, he had nothing to be nervous about though really, "It is not a date. It is not a date." He repeated to himself. "Great, and now I'm talking to myself, that's the first sign of madness." _"Well, actually some might argue that going out to lunch with your married ex-girlfriend who you might still have feelings for is the first sign of madness, because nothing can ever happen, even if you might want it too." _Luka thought, closing his eyes and leaning back on the headrest. He sat there for a few minutes before plucking up the courage to get out of the car and walk the hundred yards to the front door of the restaurant.

As he walked inside, he took off his sunglasses, and was almost immediately greeted by a waiter who asked him what party he was with. "Kovac, party of two."

"Ah, yes Sir, your guest has already arrived. Right this way Sir." The waiter offered.

As the waiter led him to Sam, Luka examined the restaurant that they had enjoyed coming to so much when they were together and found his eyes on her at what used to be their table, at the other side of the restaurant with a window view over the river. She saw him and smiled warmly as she stood up to welcome him. "Hi." Luka said, he hugged her loosely and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, how are you doing? It feels like a lifetime since I saw you last week in the supermarket." Sam said, sat down and took a sip from her glass of water.

"I'm doing all right, how are you?" He paused and then turned to the waiter and said, "Could you come back in a few minutes please? Well, unless you want to order now?" He asked Sam.

"Well I know what I want. Could I please have a steak and cheese sandwich and a beer?" She nodded towards the waiter.

"And I think I'll have the same." Luka said, passing the two unopened menus to him. The waiter then left the two of them alone.

"God, it's been a while since we've been here, huh? I mean, us together, I don't know if you've been here or not." Sam said and got quieter towards the end of the sentence.

"No I haven't been here in a long time, this is our place you know?" He looked at Sam and she nodded, showing that she thought of it as their special place too.

Sam averted her eyes and tried to get off the subject of their previous relationship. "Yeah, I love this restaurant, it's so cosy and peaceful, and not too fancy. I have had just about enough of five star restaurants where you're not allowed to talk too loudly and there's almost a dozen knives and forks. I'm a one set of cutlery kind of gal and I think I always will be." _"Okay, that sounded stupid." _Sam laughed nervously and wondered why she had just said that.

Luka laughed. "And since when have you been eating at five star restaurants? Is that one of the perks of working for a multi-millionaire?"

"No not really, it's sort of part of Drew's job, he's a legal and financial advisor, so we have to wine and dine a lot of his rich clients, you know show them a good time, throw around some cash. At home, we're completely different though, he's incredibly down to earth, he doesn't act like a millionaire at all." Sam announced proudly. "But I hate that word, it makes it sound like all our life is about is his money."

"He's a millionaire?" Luka asked, feeling slightly in awe and very intimidated by this down to earth and extremely rich family man. Sam nodded. "Wow, that's wow, you must be really happy together."

"What sort of materialistic gold-digger do you think I am? I mean, yes we are happy, but it's not because of the money. Well it's not all about the money." Sam giggled as the waiter returned with their drinks.

For the next hour they generally chatted about their lives and their work, all the while having one bottle of beer after the other.

"So you haven't worked in an ER since you left County?" Luka asked in fascination, how Sam could have stopped working was beyond him, he knew how much she loved being a nurse.

"Yep. I still look after Richard which is really important to me, but mostly I just take care of Alex and Grace, I didn't mean to say 'just', it's a pretty essential part of my life and I love it. I never thought it would happen to me, it's weird, I've become this housewife and Volvo-driving soccer mom." Sam explained.

"Except you drive a Rolls Royce and a Mercedes, seriously Sam why do you need two cars?" Luka teased her.

"I knew you weren't going to let that go, they we're gifts!" Sam playfully slapped him on the arm. "Stop trying to make me sound like some spoiled trophy wife!"

"Hey you know I'm kidding, and it's not like my personal life has gone that well, I might end up marrying for money as well."

Sam laughed at him making fun of her. "So, truthfully, how is everything with you? Are you still enjoying being Chief of the ER?"

"Yeah, most of the time, the administrative stuff isn't too great, but being the boss does mean I can more or less pick my own hours, which is good when I have Joe, because I don't want him to remember his dad as always being at work and never at home with him." Luka answered her and smiled at the thought of his son.

"And how do you feel about being a doctor and saving lives on a daily basis?" Sam asked softly and watched Luka with her sympathetic eyes.

Luka was alarmed to hear anyone ask him how he coped at work, his colleagues had seemingly forgotten about the trouble he once had with connecting with his patients and dealing with his mistakes as a doctor, but he knew that Sam understood how he felt and had tried to help him whenever she could. "It's okay right now, I think I'm dealing pretty well with it all and I haven't had a complete breakdown so that's good news."

"And you and Abby get on all right, with Joe and at work?" Sam asked and was surprised that she had asked him about Abby.

"Yeah we do, it's crazy really, we are so good as friends, we're always they're for each other and we respect each other, it makes it so easy to share custody of Joe, I can't imagine how I'd cope if we fought all the time like when we were together. We just made the worst couple." Luka admitted to Sam.

"Really, I thought that was you and me?" She joked and Luka laughed at her.

"We didn't make a bad couple, what we had was good, well I think so anyway." Luka looked at her across the candlelit table, and took her hand. "God, Sam, what ever happened to us?" He spoke at barely above a whisper, in that moment Luka forgot that Sam was married and that this was just a friendly lunch. He got lost in all of his memories of them together and he realised that all he wanted to do was to lean over and kiss her, ever so softly at first and then Sam would realise that she wanted to kiss him too and the kiss would become deeper and go further, until they were making love and they could be in each other's arms again.

Sam looked away from him and down towards the table, forcing Luka out of his daydream. She curled her fingers around his hand and held it tightly, "I don't know, it just didn't work out, the timing was wrong or something, there were different reasons and it just wasn't meant to be." Tears formed in Sam's eyes, and she forced them back, trying to convince herself that they had both drunk too much and that she wasn't really still hung up on Luka Kovac. _"It has been four years since I've seen him, maybe then there were still some feelings there then, but I am married now, happily married, I don't want this." _Sam told herself. She retracted her hand from his as though she had been electrocuted and coughed loudly to clear the lump that was forming in her throat. "So anyway, think of it like this, if we hadn't have broken up then you wouldn't have gotten back together with Abby and had Joe and I wouldn't have met Drew and had Grace, and I know that I can't imagine my life without her and that you can't imagine your life without Joe, so we have to believe that this was the better path for us.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Luka said, sighing heavily. He studied Sam's face and her eyes met his, they shared a look, one of the ones where he could see into her soul, he saw her heart, her fears, her dreams, and what he saw was that she is so amazingly happy, she's in love with her husband and her children and she loves her life. Luka realised that he doesn't want to ruin that for her, he wants her to be happy and it hits him that this is real, he is falling for Sam all over again and she won't ever feel the same way.

"So," Sam hesitated to finish her sentence, "I guess we should get going, because I think lunchtime ended thirty minutes ago."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

"Do you want to go out again next week, there's going to be a falconry show at Millennium Park and I've always wanted to hold an eagle, we could take a picnic or something, if you want to." Sam asked and hoped that he said yes.

"That'd be great, I'm on nights for most of next week so I'm free during the day." Luka responded before he really thought about it, he didn't want to get himself into something complicated and get his heart broken, but on the other hand he wanted to see her so badly that he disregarded everything that he believed about taking a woman away from her family and agreed to meet her again.

"Well that's great, I'll call you over the weekend to arrange the time?" Sam was delighted that she felt comfortable with Luka, and she hoped that they could be friends. _"I've missed him." _She confessed to herself. But as they stood up to leave, hug and share a innocent kiss on the cheek, she held his face to hers for longer than a moment and had to admit that she hasn't just missed him as a friend.

* * *

When Luka returned to his apartment he found John Carter there sitting on his couch. "Hey Luka, where have you been?" John asked him.

Luka decided that there was no point in lying to him, he would understand. "I just had lunch with Sam, you know to catch up."

"Sam? ... Taggart? Your ex Sam?"

"Yeah, she's back in the area, I saw her when I was out buying groceries last week and we thought we should meet up. You don't seem too shocked."

"That's because I'm not, so how is she?"

"She's great. She looks incredible, she's married now, has a three year old daughter and lives in an enormous mansion that could rival your Grandmother's palace."

"Good for her. Are you going to meet her again?" John replied, sounding concerned.

"Yeah I am, next week."

"Right, are you getting involved with her again?"

"What? She's married."

"I heard you, are you getting involved with her again?" John leaned against the kitchen counter and waited for his answer.

Luka said quietly, "I honestly don't know." He briefly pondered over his feelings towards Sam before looking back at Carter. "So why are you here?"

"I just came to pick up the baseball glove for Joe, I left it here when I came over last night, I'm going to take it round to him now."

"You're going round to Abby's tonight?" John nodded. "You spend a lot of time there don't you?" Luka took off his jacket and walked through to the kitchen.

"Well Abby is my friend and Joe is my godson." John explained although he knew what Luka was getting at.

"Are you getting involved with my ex?" Luka asked accusingly.

"We're friends." He walked through the apartment and stopped at the door before turning back to Luka and parting with the words, "And she's my ex too remember?"


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews, special thanks to Sam Kovac Forever who was sweet enough to PM me as her review wasn't working. So, read, enjoy and review! Love Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 3.

Luka drove through the majestic iron gates and up the sweeping gravel driveway to the front of Richard Elliot's stunning Victorian-style house. Well, 'house' is an understatement, Luka thought, it's an extremely formidable mansion with what appeared to Luka to be acres of well kept land around it, and while some may have interpreted the size of it to be ostentatious, Luka found it to appear affluent yet demure.

Luka exited from his car, approached the door and rang the bell. Sam was there to open the door to him and she gracefully ushered him inside. "Hi," she said, "I'm so glad you made it, sorry I had to cancel our plans, it's just Richard needed an emergency blood transfusion, and he was still looking a bit peaky afterwards so I wanted to stay here where I can keep an eye on him."

"No, it's fine, I'm just disappointed…" Luka began, before being interrupted.

"Oh, Samantha, I see you've already answered the door." A middle-aged, slightly stocky maid entered the lobby and spoke politely to Sam. "Do you require any assistance?" Luka had to stifle a snigger, the woman clearly had a Southern twang in her voice but was attempting to disguise it with a weak British accent.

"We're fine, Carolyn, thanks," Sam replied, before turning to glance at Luka with a smirk on her face, she knew what it was that he found amusing.

"Very well Samantha, call me if you need anything." And with that, she retreated back into the room from which she had emerged.

Luka burst into laughter and Sam joined him, leaning on his shoulder for support and resisting the tiny urge that she had to collapse in his arms completely. "What is with her accent?" Luka managed to say in between chuckles.

"I have absolutely no idea, she tries to hide the fact that she's from Louisiana but I don't know why. I tried to talk to her once about when I lived in New Orleans and she cut me off mid-sentence and put on this shrill Mary Poppins voice." Sam covered her mouth with her hand as she laughed loudly. "None of the other staff have a clue why she does it either, but for some reason she has it in her head that in order to work for a well-off man you have to have a posh English accent."

"And not a very good one either. That is crazy." Luka took Sam's hand as she steadied herself after her hysterical fit, and she leaned down more forcefully on his shoulder with her other hand. As Sam went to stand upright, she caught Luka's eye and swore to herself that she saw the look he gave her when he wanted to lean down and kiss her.

Sam shook that thought out of her mind and detached her hands from his body. "So what were you saying before Carolyn came in, about being disappointed?"

Luka was startled at how quickly she moved away from him. "What? Oh … nothing I meant to say that I'm disappointed for you that you're missing the falconry show."

"Never mind, it's fine, I'll try to go next year." Sam turned to walk along the wide hallway and Luka followed her as she led him through the house into the kitchen.

And what a kitchen it was. Luka stared around the room in awe, being suitably impressed by the glistening floor tiles which were reflecting the beams of sunlight that entered through the windows; the four door oven; a gigantic floor to ceiling refrigerator; solid marble work surfaces on which sat every possible appliance ever invented; an island in the centre which boasted wine racks and ice makers in it's walls as well as a plasma television and stereo; and there was a large round table on the other side of the room surrounded by many stools and a rocking chair.

All this and the fact that it was massive warranted Luka's attention for a few minutes, he liked to think that he wasn't materialistic but he couldn't deny that he wouldn't mind living in a house like this. There was something very cosy about it and as he watched Sam pull various foods and drinks out of the fridge and cupboards and generally potter around the kitchen, he imagined what it would be like to live in a house like this with her, to prepare their meals in a room like this with her and to make love to her on an immaculate kitchen floor like this one.

His fantasy gradually faded away as the light shimmering from her wedding ring begrudgingly brought him back to reality.

"So, I was thinking that we could eat lunch out in the garden, it's lovely and warm outside today, there aren't many days of summer left so I think we should make the most of it." Sam suggested to Luka, seeing that he had gotten over the initial wow-factor and had stopped staring in amazement at the abundance of high-tech gadgets littered around the room.

"Yeah, that sounds great. You need a hand carrying all of that?" He offered her, and took some of the products that were bundled in her arms. "It's nice to see that some things never change, Twinkies, cookies, candy, Coke, you have the sweetest tooth of anyone I've ever known." Luka smiled at the range of sugar-rich goodies he was holding.

"What? Leave me alone. I can't eat a lot of this stuff around Alex. Sometimes I like to have a day where I can pig out and no one will judge me. So that means you Luka, remember I know what you're like when you start eating potato chips, you don't stop." Sam laughed softly and then nodded her head towards the French windows. "Come on, we'll go out through here."

* * *

"So you have a day to yourself today, no kids, how's that feel?" Luka asked Sam, and gazed across the beautiful landscaped garden to the pool which was now mainly in the shade as the sun had passed so far across the sky. Many hours had gone by as they had been lying there, soaking up the sun; and talking about everything from the weather to what Britney Spears might name her next baby, but mostly they talked about 'them' and how much they wished that they had stayed in touch after they broke up. Luka wasn't sure how late it was and he didn't care. Being with Sam gave him some glimmer of hope that he might have a future with her and they might just live a happy life together, so every moment with her he saw as a blessing.

"Wonderful. It's nice to have a time out, no Alex, no Grace, no Drew, no housekeeper telling me that I'm not folding the towels correctly. It's bliss. But only for a day, I miss them if we're apart for too long." Sam smiled sweetly at the memory of her family.

"So how does this husband of yours feel about you having lunches with your tall, handsome ex-boyfriend?" Luka shook his head and laughed to himself in a self-deprecating manner.

"I haven't told him." Sam stated bluntly. "It's not that he wouldn't understand because he would, I just don't tell him everything that I do all day and everyone that I see. He trusts me." Sam finished, trying to determine if it was as simple as that or if she was trying to hide her newly rekindled friendship with Luka from her husband. She knew that if Drew was meeting up with one of his exes and didn't tell her she would be furious, but being with Luka didn't feel adulterous or wrong in any way so she never felt the need to tell him.

"That's good. It's good that we can be friends and it's completely normal, for both of us." Luka told her, but knowing inside that part of him didn't want to be 'just friends'.

"Yeah, it is, it's nice, we're friends." Sam said, glad that he had not enquired any more about her marriage. "So now that we've established that we're friends, what's going on with your love life?" She asked and Luka just laughed at her.

* * *

"It is hot out here isn't it." Sam commented before sliding her sandals off her feet and removing her jacket leaving herself clothed in only a small sleeveless T-shirt and a flowing skirt that stopped just above the knee. Luka had been watching her non-stop for twenty minutes as she leaned back in her sun lounger and held her face up to the clear blue sky. Now, that she was in a state of semi-undress Luka could not even blink in fear of missing a second in which he could be gazing at her. After not being able to see her at all for over four years, to be lying so close to her that he could lean out and touch her and run his fingers lightly over her body, it sent a shiver down his spine and caused a stir in his nether regions. Sam pulled her leg up and towards her stomach, causing her skirt to drop down on her hips, leaving her thigh exposed. Luka seeing this, imagined placing his hand onto her knee and slowly moving it up across her skin to the top of her leg, applying pressure as his fingertips squeezed her thigh. She corrected the position of her skirt and as she did do she looked over at Luka and couldn't help but notice that his eyes were fixed on her.

Sam returned the gesture and took in his full form clad in a pair of jeans and a tight fitting shirt, he was so tall that his bare feet hung over the end of his lounger with his toes pointing upwards to the sun and one side of his face was cushioned on the headrest as he gazed at her. She admired his dark, velvety eyes and his full, soft lips that were so hypnotising and inviting, her breath hitched in her throat and she found herself entirely breathless from just looking at him. Sam sat up abruptly and swung her legs off of the chair so that she was facing him and was forced to inhale deeply so that she could get her breath back. Luka mirrored her movement so that he was sitting right in front of her, their knees were touching, and their faces were only inches away from each other. Luka slid his tongue across his lips to moisten them and Sam unconsciously did the same, he moved himself forward and tilted his head slightly and as his lips were about to brush against hers, she jerked backwards sharply.

"I think it's best if you leave." Sam snapped at Luka as she jumped up from her seat and moved away from him. "Before we do something we will both regret."

"Trust me, I would not have regretted that." Luka stood up, walked towards her and attempted to lift her face towards his and kiss her.

"Luka!" Sam pulled away from him. "I said please go!" She shot inside the house and he heard her run up some stairs.

Feeling defeated, he picked up his belongings and left through the front door. As he walked to his car, he looked up at the windows on the first floor and saw Sam staring at him with tears streaming down her face, he wanted nothing more than to run to her and comfort her but knew that he had already gone too far. Something inside was telling him to give up, to leave her alone, forget about her and to move on with his life. But he refused to give up yet because he saw how she had looked at him before they almost kissed, and he knew that she was falling in love with him again too.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc… And I also don't own the songs "Truly, Madly, Deeply" and "Can't Get You Off Of My Mind", I'm just borrowing their lyrics.

Author's Note: So here's another chapter! Thank you again for the reviews, please keep it up, I love to know what you think! I'm attempting to use song lyrics in this chapter so if you think it doesn't work, please tell me I can take criticism! And let me know what you think about the Carby! Read, enjoy and review! Love Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 4.

Sam pounded up the stairs, flew into her old bedroom and slammed the door shut, something that she had not done since being sent to her room as a teenager, she pressed her back against the door and then slid to the floor landing in a mangled heap.

She began to sob and made no attempt to stop herself, her body shook violently and she groaned loudly as the tears cascaded down her cheeks, and then down her neck and fell onto her shoulders. Her hands were clasped together across her face and they soon began to fill with tears. Sam didn't understand how her emotions could be changed so suddenly by something that didn't even happen and how it could turn her into a crying, hysterical wreck.

She just knew how infuriated she was with herself for what she almost did, what she almost let happen. She would never have an affair, she could never betray her husband in that way.

Sam heard the front door open and close, so she pulled herself up to go and look out of the window, she saw Luka leaving and he cast his eyes on her so she quickly moved away from the window, scared of what she might want to do if she looked at him for too long.

Once she had heard his car drive away she went up to the window and pulled the curtains closed so that she could sit alone in the dark. She perched herself on the end of the bed and put her head in her hands and as she did so her water-filled eyes caught the glimmer of the diamond in her engagement ring. She lifted her ring finger up to her lips and kissed her wedding ring softly, remembering what it represented, her undying everlasting love for her husband. Sam allowed a few more tears to leave her eyes, before wiping them dry and reminiscing about the most magical moments of her wedding day.

_For their first dance they had chosen the song 'Truly, Madly, Deeply', Drew had told Sam that it was the first song he heard on the radio after meeting her and that he knew from that moment that he wanted her to be his wife._

_Sam gazed into his eyes as they danced and forgot about all of their guests who were watching them, becoming entranced by her love for this extraordinary man._

_I'll be you dream_

_I'll be your wish_

_I'll be your fantasy_

_I'll be your hope_

_I'll be your love_

_Be everything that you need_

_I'll love you more with every breath_

_Truly, madly, deeply do_

_They were about to embark on a new life together as lovers, best friends, parents and soulmates. Before meeting Drew, Sam thought that Luka was her soulmate but with each passing day she believed more and more that Drew was the man she had been waiting for all her life._

_I will be strong_

_I will be faithful_

_'Cause I'm counting on_

_A new beginning_

_A reason for living _

_A deeper meaning_

_And that is exactly what he had given her, a reason to live, Sam felt that God had finally forgiven her for all of her sins and had blessed her with a son and a husband – a new beginning._

And why would she want to throw that all away for a sordid fling with an ex-lover. "I don't." Sam said to herself and made a promise that she would not let any feelings that she might have for Luka interfere with the lives of herself, her husband or her children. But even though it caused her so much pain in her heart and worry in her soul she couldn't shake the thought of Luka out of her mind.

* * *

Luka stormed into his apartment and slammed the door behind him, he flung his keys down on the table and threw himself back onto the couch. He couldn't believe that he had tried to kiss her, it was too soon for anything like that, they had only met up again a fortnight ago. He knew that it was a bad idea and it was morally wrong to try and kiss another man's wife, but when he saw Sam he didn't see somebody else's wife he just saw Sam for who she was. He saw her smile, beauty and grace. He saw her heart full of good intentions and her sense of humour. It was too painful to think that he had screwed up any chance of ever seeing her again because of one stupid mistake.

And even though he knew that what he did was wrong, he also saw that it's what she wanted to do as well. The look in her eyes when she leaned in to kiss him, the lust and desire in them, he would never forget that look as he had seen it so many times before. The very first night that they made love was the first time he saw it and he knew straight away what it meant. "But that doesn't mean that that is what she wants now", he tried to convince himself.

Luka felt too overwhelmed and confused to be contemplating this alone so he picked up the phone to call John and see if he had any advice for him. John had known from the second Luka said he had seen Sam that there was going to be trouble and he wasted no time in telling Luka this. Not that he listened to him, but John still didn't judge Luka as they were both the first to admit that when it came to women neither one had good instincts. The phone cut into the answer machine, realising that he wasn't at home Luka didn't want to disturb him if he was out or at work so instead he chose to get out a bottle of scotch and sit alone in the dark.

He ran over the day's events in his mind, trying to figure out the exact point where they had gone too far and what he could have done to prevent it. And with all of these thoughts flashing before his eyes there was one image that he couldn't shake, no matter how hard he tried he could not get rid of the image of Sam sobbing at the window. It broke his heart to see her hurting, and he knew that he was the one causing it, but he also knew that he was the one to make it all better.

* * *

Night had fallen over the city and as Sam sat on the window seat and took in the view of Lake Michigan, she found the gentle ripples of the water and the reflections of the moonlight to be a tranquil escape from the confusion she felt inside. All she wanted was to be able to put Luka out of her mind forever and to go back to her once perfect life. But that was impossible now. When she searched her heart, she found that she had pangs of love not only for Drew, but for Luka as well. Part of her wanted to beg Luka to love her and to never leave her but she understood the reality and that she would have to live without him, even though she couldn't stop thinking about him.

_Life is just a lonely highway_

_I'm out here on the open road_

_I'm old enough to see behind me_

_But young enough to feel my soul_

_I don't wanna lose you baby_

_And I don't wanna be alone_

_Don't wanna live my days without you_

_But for now I've got to be without you_

_I've got a pocket full of money_

_And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds_

_But then I think of lovin'_

_And I just can't get you off of my mind_

* * *

Luka took a gulp of his scotch and stared out of his window at the bright lights of the city. He knew what he was getting himself into and he didn't care. The pain that he was feeling was excruciating, knowing that Sam belonged to another man and that she was being forced to make decisions that she shouldn't have to make. He knew that she wanted to be with him but he also knew that she had a family to protect. The best thing to do would be to forget that he had ever met her, that he had ever loved her, but he couldn't. Because from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep she was on his mind and then when he slept he would dream about her. His emotions were completely out of his control and he didn't know how to stop himself loving her.

_Babe can't you see_

_That this is killing me_

_I don't want to push you baby_

_And I don't want you to be told_

_It's just that I can't breathe without you_

_Feel like I'm gonna lose control_

_I've got a pocket full of money, oh yes I do_

_And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds_

_But when it comes to lovin'_

_I just can't get you off of my mind_

* * *

On the other side of town, Carter switched the television off and the room suddenly went dark. He looked downwards and saw Abby lying in his arms where she had fallen asleep as they watched a movie. He started to pick her up so he could carry her upstairs and put her in bed but as he did she stirred and cuddled him tighter. The feeling of Abby holding onto him made Carter's heart skip a beat and he decided to lie there with her for a while longer. He didn't want to leave her, ever, but he knew that it was never going to be that simple. And she never gave him a clue as to what she felt towards him now, he needed to know if there was a chance for them to have a future together but every time he wanted to ask her he chickened out. But Carter knew that for him there was no one else but her, Abby was all he thought about and all he wanted.

_Am I a fool to think that there's a little hope, tell me baby_

_What are the rules the reasons and the do's and don'ts_

_Tell me baby, tell me baby_

_What do you feel inside?_

_I've got a pocket full of money_

_And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds, oh yeah_

_But when it comes down to lovin'_

_I just can't get you off of my mind_

_I just can't get you off of my mind_


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Hello everyone! It's been a bit longer since my last update but I was just trying to make it good for all of you! Thank you for the reviews again, it's very flattering that you give me such positive comments but if there are things that you think aren't so good feel free to say! Anyway, on with the next chapter – read, enjoy and review and Carby fans do not despair there will be much more of them in the next chapter I promise! Love, Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 5.

Luka paced up and down his living room and alternated between checking the time on the wall clock and fixing his eyes on the door hoping for a knock to come from its direction. _"Where is she? She said she'd be here thirty minutes ago and she's almost never late."_

Since Sam called him that morning to say that she wanted to talk in person, Luka could think of nothing else except what he was going to say to her and what he really wanted to say to her, two things that were not in much agreement. What he really wanted to say is that he thought he was falling back in love with her, no he knew that he was falling back in love with her. And that after seeing how she looked at him on that afternoon, he knew that she felt the same way. He wanted to tell her that meeting her again had given him some hope that he might not be dead inside after all and that he believed that they were each other's only chance to be truly happy.

But, instead what he decided to do was to let her talk first and see what she wanted before he started declaring his love and proposing marriage to an already married woman. After all, she had waited almost a month to call him since that dreaded day when he had almost kissed her and then sent her running from him in floods of tears.

The silence in his apartment was shattered by the sound of the phone ringing; Luka walked towards it and picked it up. "Hello."

"Luka, it's me, can you come down?" He heard Sam's voice on the other end of the line.

"Come down where? Where are you Sam, I was getting worried."

"Come down to the street, I'm outside your apartment." Sam choked and Luka could tell that she had been crying. She had been crying over him again.

"What? Why don't you just come up here, its too cold outside."

"No, Luka I can't ... just, please come down here okay. I want to talk face-to-face so we can get everything out in the open." Sam stood with her back leaned against her car door and looked up at the light radiating from his apartment window.

"All right. I'll be down in a minute." Sam hung up before he could say anything else so Luka grabbed his keys and his jacket and went downstairs.

He opened the door that led out onto the street and immediately saw Sam waiting directly opposite for him. As her walked to her, he zipped up the front of his jacket and pulled it around him tightly, he hadn't realised quite how cold it was, fall had definitely snuck up on him this year. Remembering his plan to let her talk first, he simply said, "Hi."

"Hey." She replied. "How've you been?"

"I've been waiting for you to call. I wanted to call you but I knew that you needed time to think. So, have you, you know thought about what happened?" Luka struggled to get his words out, afraid that anything he might say could upset her.

Sam rolled her eyes and looked away from him for a moment before turning back. "You mean, thought about how I almost cheated on my husband with you? About how I'm pretending that I want to be your friend when really I want to be your lover again? Thought about how I haven't stopped thinking about you at all for the past six weeks!" Sam was shouting at him now and throwing her arms around in front of her to help release her frustration. "Yes, okay, I've thought about me almost kissing you. But I've also been thinking about how stupid it would be to get involved with you again. It is stupid and it is selfish and it's never gonna happen." Sam let out a deep breath and a few tears escaped from her eyes, she tried to wipe them away but Luka had already seen.

He moved in towards her and tried to wrap his arms around her. "It's gonna be okay. Please don't worry."

"Stop it Luka! Stop comforting me! And everything is not going to be okay." He opened his mouth and attempted to speak. "No, please don't interrupt me. I just came here to say this in person; I don't think that we should see each other any more. What happened was a mistake. And I'm not trying to blame it on you, I'm not trying to put this on you. It's as much my fault as it is yours, more my fault, I'm the one who's married. I love my husband and I love my children and I cannot throw that away for you. And I think it's best if we just stop all contact, because truthfully I don't trust myself with you. That day, I wanted to kiss you and part of me wants to kiss you right now but I know that I can't. I can't go up into your apartment with you because I won't want to leave and I know that you probably won't let me. I don't understand how this has happened, we broke up six years ago and yet all these feelings have come back so fast except now they feel stronger and more overwhelming. I've started doubting myself and my marriage and whether I ever stopped loving you at all so I think I just need to say goodbye and try to forget about you and live my life as best I can without you in it." Sam stopped for a moment and allowed herself to cry.

"I don't know what to say to make this better and I think I've made me feelings pretty clear but I don't want to wreck your marriage or your life because you deserve to be happy." Luka looked at Sam and saw that she was watching every movement he made and was absorbing every word that he spoke. "But I can feel something real between us and you've just said you feel it too. But it's your decision, if you really want to say goodbye and leave it at that then I understand."

They both paused and gazed at each other as they realised that this was not the first time that he had said that to her.

_"Hey." Luka called out to Sam as he exited the building._

_"Hey. Thanks for calling me, it's really sweet of you to ask me to come over." Sam moved away from the car and met him in the middle of the street._

_"Thanks for coming. I just wanted us to have a chance to talk ... properly." Luka put his hands in his pockets and looked down at his feet which he was shuffling uncomfortably. He remembered when he had last talked to Sam, about her decision to quit, and how he had gotten so upset but he didn't want to show her so instead she got the impression that he didn't care._

_"Yeah me too. I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk earlier at work. Things just got really crazy and there was no time for anything. In fact, everybody had to present me with my cake as I was clearing up the trauma room." Sam smiled and Luka mirrored her expression._

_"Things do tend to get pretty crazy in the ER. They tell me it's part of the charm." Luka said avoiding the issue of what he really wanted to say to her._

_"Apparently so, there must be something about it, I can't really believe that I'm leaving. In some ways it feels like I just came to County and in other ways it feels like a lifetime has passed and now the time has come to move on, you know? Time for a fresh start." Sam heard the sentimentality in her own voice and knew that it was only a matter of time before she shed a few tears._

_"Well, fresh starts can be good. I'm not going to lie and say that I want you to leave or that I think you should but it's your call, it's your life."_

_They both stood in silence and looked at each other waiting for the other one to make the next move. "Luka, I need to tell you that I am so sorry for the way things ended between us. And that we haven't really been friends since we broke up. I didn't mean to act like such a bitch, it was just that so much was happening and we never really talked about anything until it all got to be too much and I think I was falling apart by the end. I felt that the best thing to do for all of us was to walk away before you ended up hating me, and Alex ended up hating us both. I'm sorry. You deserved better than the relationship we had and I just want you to know that I didn't leave you because I stopped loving you. I didn't stop, I have never loved another man the way that I love you." Sam coughed in an attempt to stop herself crying but it was too late and so she let the tears fall freely down her cheeks._

_Luka noticed her present tense use of 'love' but thought it better to ignore it as he had Abby and their baby to think about now and after tonight he might never see Sam again. "You're not the only one who should be sorry. It took two people to break up our relationship and it was as much down to me and it was you. But sometimes I wish that we hadn't have got to that point, I wish that we could have worked things out. We have to believe that everything happens for a reason though and that maybe we just weren't meant for each other."_

_"Maybe. Everything I felt for you was real though, whether it was meant to be or not." Sam whispered her words as she cried, she couldn't believe that this was it, she was saying goodbye to Luka, forever. "You are such an amazing man Luka and I can't believe that I ever got so lucky to have you and then I pushed you away. There hasn't been a day gone by since we broke up that I haven't thought about you and how special you are to me and ... about how happy you made me. But I see that Abby makes you happy so I have to believe that she's the one that you're meant to be with and I hope that you two live a long life together. Really I do."_

_Luka pulled Sam into his arms and he enjoyed the feeling of having her in an embrace. She squeezed him firmly and rested her head against his chest. When she lifted her head up to look at him she was surprised to find him gazing into her eyes as he leaned in to kiss her. Their lips came together, ever so slowly and delicately at first as they both tried to figure out if this is what they wanted. But, when Sam placed both of her hands around Luka's neck and pushed her hips into him he knew that this was definitely what she wanted and so slid his tongue across her lips requesting entrance to her mouth. She gave it to him and reciprocated by massaging his tongue with hers and tickling the roof of his mouth with the tip of her tongue which she knew drove him crazy. They stood kissing in the road for almost five minutes without thinking about where it would lead before Sam finally pulled back without removing her hands from his face, she looked him straight in the eye with their noses touching and breathed across his lips, "I will always love you. I am going to miss you so much. But we have to say goodbye."_

_"I don't want to say goodbye, I don't want this to be it for us. But I guess it has to be. And if you really want to say goodbye and leave it at that then I understand. I will always love you too." Luka whispered in her ear before kissing her one last time._

_And so that was their goodbye. It broke both of their hearts to do it but they moved on like they had promised themselves they would do and built new lives. Neither one ever expected that they would find themselves back in that same street saying goodbye for a second time._

"Sam, please just give this a chance." Luka stepped closer to her and ran his fingers through her hair before encompassing her cheek with his hand. She looked into his eyes and lifted her lips towards his for a moment before remembering what she had come here to do.

"No Luka! No! This is not happening! This is not happening!" She brushed his arm away and headed back towards her car. "I have to go, I shouldn't have come here and this has all been a mistake."

He followed her and tried to pull her back. "Sam, please?" He pleaded with her.

"No Luka, don't touch me and don't think about calling me, all right? This is it, nothing is happening between us, it's just all a big mistake. Everything that we've done in the past few weeks has been a mistake. It's over."

And before Luka could respond she had raced off into the night leaving him standing alone in the cold, dark street.

* * *

"Samantha. I was expecting you earlier. Is everything all right? You look upset." Richard Elliot greeted her as she joined him in the living room. 

"Yeah, everything's fine. I'm sorry I'm late I had something that I had to do." Sam replied to him.

"Don't worry about it. And you're not fine, I can see that you've been crying. Now come here and tell me all about it." He ushered her into the seat next to him.

"I need to check you over first and you probably won't want to hear what I have to say." Sam sat down and looked at him with despair in her eyes.

"If I didn't want to know I wouldn't have asked. Does this have anything to do with the man that you had over here last month? Your ex? You know that you can tell me, I'm not going to judge you."

"What? You know about that? It's not what you're thinking, I haven't been seeing him. At least not like that. I'm not sleeping with him, I'm not cheating on Drew. I would never do that."

"But it's clearly bothering you. You been distant for a while now and I didn't know how to ask you about it especially when Drew was around." Richard took her hand and Sam appreciated the gesture.

Sam, feeling the pain of not being able to share her emotions decided to let it all out. "I thought we could just be friends but he doesn't want to be just friends and neither do I, but I don't want to lose Drew and I have no idea what to do. I can't explain what I'm doing or why I feel the way that I do even to myself. And I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position. I mean you were the one who introduced us, Drew is your friend and ... oh god what you must think of me." Sam burst into tears and placed her head in her hands.

He pulled her to his chest and hugged her whilst she continued to sob. "Look, forget about all that. My priority is you and I am here for you to talk so just tell me everything that's happened from the beginning."

"Well, it all started when I saw Luka in the supermarket ..."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Thank you all so much again for your amazing reviews, they really make me want to keep writing! Sorry my updates are getting further and further apart, time is not on my side right now. So the new chapter is here, with Carby as promised and if it goes down well there will be more next chapter too. Read, enjoy and review! Love Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 6.

Luka typed in the security code and waited for the automatic doors to open so that he could enter County General ER.

As he walked in he passed Ray Barnett who was on his way out, "Hey Dr Kovac, have a good night shift and don't forget about our meeting with Weaver next week." Ray reminded him, like he had done every day so far that week. Luka was starting to wonder what on earth had made Ray so excited about a meeting with his two bosses.

"Of course I won't forget Ray, good night." Luka responded as he leaned sideways on the admit desk and rolled his eyes at John.

"What is this big meeting about?" John asked.

"Guess I'll find out next week. So, you have time for a coffee before you sign out?"

"Sure" he looked at his watch, "but maybe just one from the lounge, I don't have time to go to the Jumbomart. There's somewhere I have to be." John replied as he took off his lab coat and headed for the doctor's lounge.

"And where's this somewhere? Abby's?" Luka said as he followed him.

"Yeah." John admitted rather bashfully. "Actually, that's something that I've been meaning to talk to you about ... Abby ... me and Abby." He went quiet.

Luka widened his eyes and nodded his head expectantly, "Yeah, what about you and Abby?" John said nothing. "Are you two, you know dating again?"

"What? No! No, seriously we are not a couple." He thought for a moment, they sure did do a lot of coupley things together and they saw each other almost every day and he spent most nights at her house, but a real couple? John was pretty sure that they weren't romantically involved and he definitely knew that they weren't involved sexually, his ever increasing frustration proof of that. "I don't think we're a couple but I have no idea if she wants anything to happen, not that I'd mind." John stopped and remembered who he was talking to. "But nothing is happening ... we're not doing ... we're not having ... well you know." He tried to cover up what he had said and his face went beetroot-red, feeling embarrassed that he couldn't talk to Luka about Abby, more specifically about sex with Abby. The man had become one of his closest friends, but he was also the father of Abby's son and Luka probably didn't want to think about her being with anybody else.

"I get it. You and Abby are not having any kind of intercourse. The message is loud and clear." Luka threw his head back and laughed at him.

"Don't laugh at me. I was trying to be serious because I feel uncomfortable talking about that stuff with you. There's just so much history between us all. You and Abby, me and Abby, you and Abby ... again. And now there's Abby and Joe and I'm not sure if I can fit in her life anymore, I don't know if she wants me in her life."

"Well obviously she does want you in her life because the two of you spend every waking moment together, you practically live with her, as well as working with her and she trusts you with her son, which is the biggest compliment a parent can ever give you." Luka said reassuringly. "I think if it's what you want you should go for it. But just be aware that if it all goes horribly wrong, you may never get your friendship back again." Luka paused, knowing that there was something weird about encouraging John to get back together with Abby, after all she is the mother of his child, but he couldn't help but think that if John and Abby started again, this time they could make it work. But Luka would always have a protective streak when it came to Abby, he still cared about her a great deal and would forever have love for her as she gave him his beautiful son. "But if you ever hurt her, or Joe, I will kill you." He said, the tone in his voice calm but threatening.

"I would expect nothing less." John replied, knowing in his heart that he would never intentionally hurt Abby, she meant too much to him, he had lost her once and he was not prepared to lose her again. "But part of me believes that we're better off as friends, what we have now is great and I couldn't live without her and I think she feels the same way. So I don't want to risk losing that because we tried to be something that we're not."

John's words rang true with Luka and he immediately thought of Sam. "What if you're trying to be something that you are?" Luka looked away from John and out of the window at the fading sunshine outside. "It's not always so clear what's meant to be and what isn't, some things feel so right, when they're wrong in so many ways."

"Are we still talking about Abby and me?" John noticed the far away look in Luka's eyes. Since Luka had told him about Sam, John was waiting for something to happen, to go wrong and apparently it had done. Luka had tried to kiss Sam and almost succeeded but she had pulled away from him at the last minute. John was pleased, although he knew how much this was hurting Luka, as there was nothing that he hated more about marriage than adultery and he was glad that Sam had the decency to be faithful to her husband.

"What?" Luka snapped out of his daydream. "Er, yeah, about you and Abby, I know I haven't always been so supportive of you two in the past but it's not up to me and I want both of you to be happy. So go for it, I mean if that's what you want. It's worth a try right?"

"Yeah maybe." John responded quietly. He waited for Luka to say something about Sam as he knew he had just been thinking about her but he didn't so John thought he would approach the subject. "So, are we gonna talk about Sam at all? You haven't said anything since you told me she was coming to your apartment and that was what three weeks ago now. Come on Luka what's going on? You can tell me."

The mention of Sam's name caught Luka's attention and his mind was flooded with images of her on the last night that he had seen her. He hadn't called her like he had promised though it had been hard, he found himself thinking about her all the time, when he was at work, stuck in traffic jams and as he was falling asleep. He couldn't get Sam out of his head and he didn't know what to do about it. "Nothing is going on. Really. I haven't spoken to her in weeks."

"Right." John said, not sure if he believed him or not. "So what happened when she came to see you, did you guys break up?"

"What! We weren't together, we were just friends."

"But you were starting something though right? It sounded like the two of you were getting pretty close again."

"If we were getting close, we're not any more. She said it was finished and it hadn't even really begun. Sam wants to be with her family and I respect that, it's best for both of us if we just don't see each other any more. And that's it." Luka said sadly.

"So it's really over?" John asked.

"Yeah, it's really over."

* * *

"Well I guess I should take the time to thank you for the culinary masterpiece that you served me this evening." Abby smiled at Carter sarcastically as she placed their dishes in the sink.

"Hey Lockhart, when you can whip up a cheese and tomato pasta half as good as mine then you get to mock me, until then just shut up!" He threw the dishcloth at her and it landed on top of her head, covering her eyes. Carter laughed at her as he gently removed the cloth and let his hand rest on her hair. It amazed him how soft and shiny it was despite all that Abby did to it. Right now she was going through a shoulder-length, blonde and highlighted stage and Carter loved how angelic it made her look. Although to him she would always be an angel, his angel.

Abby looked at Carter and smiled as he stared at her in wonder before rolling his eyes and getting lost in his thoughts. She caught him doing that often and she had to admit that she liked it. She liked how she could make him lose all sense of reality and time as he stood in silence, clearly with her on his mind. And she wanted to tell him that he did the same to her, that she had moments where she became inundated with memories of them and her fantasies of what life would be like if they got back together. But Abby knew that she could never tell Carter, their romance was in the past, it was their friendship that mattered now. But deep down she knew that what they had was so much more than a romance, if anything it was an epic _"and a never ending one at that"_, she thought to herself. After all this time Abby was beginning to understand that even though her and Carter had been through so much when they were together and when they were apart, somehow they always found their way back to each other. She wasn't sure whether this was a good thing or not.

"What are you thinking?" Carter whispered, seeing that she was staring back at him, and he dropped his hand to her cheek letting his thumb stroke her lips, desperately trying to set the mood and waited for her to continue.

His look penetrated right through her so she felt naked and this didn't make Abby feel awkward, only aroused. She panted, a long breath escaping from her lips as she placed her hand on his shoulder blades and allowed it to roam down his back. Carter leaned into her and snuggled his face into her neck, kissing softly at the skin below her ear. Abby maneuvered her head until she was facing him and enveloped his lips in an intense kiss.

She pulled away and smiled at him before diving back in for more when she heard a groggy voice coming from the lounge, "Mommy? What time is it?" And with that, the passion ended just as quickly as it had begun.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews you guys! So here is the next chapter, it's pretty short and not really my best work but it addresses a couple of things that I have to get into the story before I continue. Just to avoid any confusion, the first part is a continuation of the last chapter and the second part is a separate event that takes place about a week later. Read, enjoy and review as always! Love Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 7.

"And the three little pigs lived happily ever after. The end." Abby leaned in to her son and kissed the top of his head. "Good night sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you too Mommy. Night night Uncle Carter." Joe sighed half-asleep.

"Goodnight Joe." Carter smiled as he stood in the doorway and watched Abby tuck her son into bed before standing up and walking towards him, shutting out the lights as she left the room.

Abby didn't know if she should wait to talk to Carter about their kiss or what, but she thought that now was as good a time as any. "So, we need to talk about what just happened."

"Yeah, we do." Carter replied. "Let's go and make some coffee." He took Abby's hand and led her down the stairs and back into the kitchen.

"Look John, I think I should just cut to the chase ..." Abby said before she was interrupted.

"John? This must be a serious talk, you only call me that when you're upset about something or when we were in bed and you didn't know what the hell you were saying." He raised his eyebrows and winked at her and Abby couldn't resist smiling at him.

"Stop it. Don't talk about that, that's in the past." Abby said in the most serious tone she could muster with a smile on her face.

"Yeah, the past twenty minutes." Carter laughed as she passed him the milk out of the fridge.

"Come on. We need to talk about this. Let me start, I'm not going to pretend that I didn't enjoy the kiss because I did okay, it was good, really good, it was just so ... no, it was just okay." Abby shrugged her shoulders and tried to blow off just how great their kiss was but Carter wasn't buying it.

"I think we both know that it was more than okay." He moved towards her and placed both his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes.

Abby pulled back. "You know, we're getting off the subject here. The thing is, although that kiss was ... what it was, we can't do this again. I can't be with you again, not like it was before."

"But it wouldn't be like before. Abby, we're both different people now, we've grown up and we've grown together. We could make it work I know we could, you just need to want to give it a chance."

"Carter, I love you. I love the friendship that we have and how close we are but I don't want to put that in jeopardy if we try and be a couple again. It's just, too complicated now with everything that's going on in our lives."

"It was complicated then! That's why we broke up because of all of the baggage that we both had."

"Excuse me!" Abby raised her voice in anger. "If I remember correctly, we broke up because you ran away from me, to the other side of the world, twice! Or three times if you count when you supposedly 'left for good'!"

"What are you saying that you'd rather I hadn't come back? That I'd stayed in Africa with Kem and you could have been here playing your fake game of Happy Families with Luka!"

"Don't you dare bring Luka into this! This has nothing to do with him! Or Kem for that matter! This is about you not being able to accept that our relationship failed because of you! Stop trying to blame me John, it was your fault!" Abby yelled at him.

"What? Our relationship was in trouble before I went to the Congo. You refused to fight for us, to try to make it work, you don't want to work for anything. Like now, you know we could make this work but you can't be bothered to try!"

"Aargggh!" Abby groaned in frustration. "I cannot keep on having the same argument with you Carter. How can we move forward as a couple if we keep on coming back to the same old problems? This is why it wouldn't work, it's been years and yet neither one of us is willing to let go of what happened between us before. We haven't grown at all, there's still the same complications there always has been and now I have Joe to think about and what would Luka think of it all? I know I said it has nothing to do with him but I have to take his feelings into account, he is my child's father." She let out a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down.

"Don't worry about that. Luka's fine with it." Carter said nonchalantly.

"What? You've spoken to Luka about this, before you even talked to me? What have you been saying?"

"I just told him that I thought we might get back together and asked him if he was all right with it and he said that he was and gave us his blessing."

"Oh right. So now that we have Luka's blessing I guess it doesn't matter what I want. You two seem to have already arranged my life for me and I'm just supposed to go along with whatever you decide? You are delusional John, and I can't believe I ever thought there was a chance for us again, you still want everything to be done your way and I'm sorry but I'm not willing to do that." Abby rolled her eyes and put her hand on her hip as she fought back a tear. "I think you should stay at your own place tonight, I've got to get up early tomorrow."

Carter sighed in defeat. "Right. So I'll call you?" He gave her a kiss on the cheek which she didn't resist but also didn't reciprocate.

"Yeah sure, whatever." She replied. "But I'm really busy for the next few days, so I wouldn't bother calling then." Abby lied.

"Fine." Carter snapped as he walked through the hallway and slammed the front door shut.

* * *

Sam sat in her chair in the waiting room and her leg shook nervously. She couldn't believe that she was here, this was a terrible idea and it was only going to end in disaster, she knew that. Part of her didn't care though, it was something that she had wanted for a while and she just decided to make that leap and do it. The thing that prayed on her mind the most was that she was going to see _him_, the person that she had been avoiding for weeks and once she saw him there would be no going back. She would be forced to spend time with him and she would have to keep the way she felt about him a secret from even more people than she was now. Sam wondered if the only reason she was here at all was so that she could be in his presence again, she had missed him and was craving to see the look on his face when he saw her. But she decided that no, she was here in a strictly professional sense and any feelings that she might have for Luka were not going to cloud her judgement any more. It was over, she had told him and she meant it.

* * *

"So to sum up," Ray Barnett said as he finished his presentation to Kerry and Luka, "I am an experienced ER attending who also has spent a considerable amount of time in paediatrics and I feel that I have finally found my niche. The paediatric ER that was set up here before was a success, but it just needed a little more time and effort to make it work in the long run and that is what I am willing to put into it. I have the funding, I just need the two of you to give me the okay and we could have it up and running by the end of next week. So what do you think?"

"It was a very distinguished presentation Ray, well done, and you've certainly managed to keep this quiet while you've been planning it but I am slightly concerned about your plans to open it next week. What about you Kerry?" Luka asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"That was actually going to be my point, Luka. Ray, I am incredibly impressed that you have taken the time to organise this and to obtain your own funding based on your own merits and those of the previous pedes ER. However, the opening of this facility would rely on there being an adequate level of full-time staff and while I think that your proposition of a full-time pedes ER nurse is a great one, we would have to conduct a national search and then there would have to be interviews before we could hire, and that's going to take at least a couple of months." Kerry said seriously, nodding her head.

"Actually that isn't going to be an issue," Ray smiled, "I already have a nurse committed to this project."

"Their name isn't on the report." Luka stated.

"I know, that's because she only accepted my offer yesterday." Ray went over to the door of the boardroom, opened it and invited someone inside. "Dr Weaver, Dr Kovac I would like you to meet Samantha McAdam, the new paediatric ER nurse."

Sam walked into the room and flashed a smile towards Ray and then Kerry before glancing at Luka who had shot up in his seat the minute she appeared before his eyes. "Hello, Kerry, Luka. It's good to see you both again. So I take it we can go ahead with Dr Barnett's proposal to re-open the pedes ER?" She tried to avoid Luka's stare as he had not taken his eyes off her since she came in, this was the exact reaction that she was expecting from him.

"Wow, Sam, erm, welcome back." Kerry greeted her. "In answer to your question, I don't see any problems with the plans now, it's just a case of sorting out the paperwork. Luka, do you agree?"

"What? Oh I'm sorry," Luka stuttered as he tried to deal with the fact that Sam was standing right in front of him, the woman who had wanted to see for so long, who he had missed more than ever and who was now saying that she would be at work with him every day. "No, I don't have any objections to this." He said and caught Sam's gaze, "No objections to this happening at all."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, you guys are great! So here's the next chapter and I think it's my longest one yet so please read, enjoy and review. Love, Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 8.

Sam picked her stethoscope up and out of her locker and hung it around her neck as she admired her appearance in the mirror. It was only her third day and yet she felt right at home again already. Never feeling as comfortable as she was in her scrubs,_ "I gotta steal a couple of pairs of these to wear as pyjamas" _she walked out of the lounge, cup of coffee in hand and went to the Admit desk where she was greeted by Frank and Jerry.

"Hey, my little blonde firecracker's back! Girl, I missed you." Jerry engulfed her in a hug.

"Yeah Jerry, I never did like that nickname so let's not start it up again shall we?" Sam chuckled. "I'm only kidding, you call me whatever you want so long as you don't mind being my sexy, Swedish bear!" She saw the expression on Frank's face so asked him, "And what's wrong? What have I done now?"

"Nothing. Just counting down the hours till you up and leave again." Frank spat in his own unique sarcastic tone.

"Geez, Frank I was here four years, that's longer than most can stand in this place." She went and picked up a chart. "Ah, a five year old with a severe case of the 'heebie-jeebies'. I wonder what we're treating that with these days. Who lets med students write these charts, since when is the 'heebie-jeebies' a chief complaint?"

"That would be me." Carter walked up behind her and twirled her around to give her a kiss on the cheek. "My new med student, Robin, she's still getting to grips with the whole 'taking a history' thing. And as for you, welcome back. The pedes ER is looking great, too bad I wasn't here to see the grand opening."

"Well you didn't miss much. Barnett and Taggart, sorry it's McAdam now right?" Frank smirked at Sam and she just rolled her eyes. "Anyway, they managed to screw up the entire day for all of us with their protocols and trial procedures. Be grateful you weren't here."

"It was that bad?" Carter turned to Sam.

"No, it wasn't. It was a huge success and Ray did an excellent job. Frank's just acting bitter 'cause I haven't chosen a new nickname for him yet!" She poked her tongue out at Frank.

"Yeah, 'cause I really be a sexy bear!" Frank said mockingly.

"You can be my sexy bear any time Frank." Abby winked at him as she entered through the waiting area. It took her a minute to notice that Sam was standing there but when she did she let out a shriek. "Oh my God, I totally forgot that you were back today!"

"Actually I was back Monday, you just weren't on." Sam opened her arms to invite Abby in for a hug.

"Yeah, that's what I meant. Sorry my mind is all over the place lately, well it's been like that forever but still." Abby hugged her and then pulled back to take a look at her. "God, woman, I hate you. Who would think that you have a kid, you look great."

"Thank you, you look amazing as well and actually now I have two." Sam replied with an excited smile on her face.

"Two what?" Abby started, confused, "Oh my God, two kids? You have another one!"

Sam laughed. "Yep, Grace, she's three. So how's your little one?" She asked, not knowing if Luka had told her that they had already met.

"Not so little any more. Knows how to answer back, push my buttons and is slowly but surely turning into a mixture of his father and his godfather." Abby said as she punched Carter on the arm and she realised that she hadn't said anything to him since she walked in. "As if having one of each wasn't enough trouble already." She smiled at Carter and he was glad that she didn't seem to be so mad at him anymore. "So who's the lucky guy then?" She asked Sam.

"My husband, Drew. We've been married four years last July. He's incredible." Sam smiled, obviously smitten with him. At that moment Luka emerged from one of the exam rooms and walked towards the group huddled together at Admit, the smile fell from Sam's face and she became entranced by his presence.

The sound of Abby's voice snapped Sam back into reality. "Wow, that's great, congratulations. Dear Lord, that rock is gorgeous! And look at how big it is! You went and married a millionaire didn't you?" Abby squealed and dragged Sam's hand up to her face so she could take a closer inspection.

"I guess, kinda, you know that's really not important." Sam tried to shrug it off, not wanting her and her rich husband to be the subject of County's gossip-mill, although she knew it was inevitable.

Her mind was still elsewhere as she watched Luka shuffle a stack of papers on the desk and attempt to hide the fact that he couldn't take his eyes off her. She took in his form one last time before returning her attention to Abby and Carter, who were now arguing over whether or not she should marry him for his money. Their audience laughed at their bickering, not realising the underlying emotions attached to this particular faux quarrel.

"So, anyway, I should get to work. We could get some lunch later and catch up." Sam said to Abby, after she had finished flicking Carter in the ear. Sam thought it was cute how they fought like an old married couple and she wondered if they were back together.

"Definitely, and I have to meet this daughter of yours, Joe should be here later if you want to meet him." Abby said as she took off her coat and headed to the lounge.

"She'll be in later at the end of my shift if you're gonna be here and I can't wait to see Joe." Sam called after her.

"What is it with you women? Always wanting to see everyone else's kids and wanting everyone to see yours?" Frank mumbled under his breath.

"Oh shut it Frank." Sam said. She walked past Luka and smiled at him with a little twinkle in her eye, he grinned back and then watched her as she walked away, assuming that no one saw him.

But someone did. "Be very careful." John Carter whispered as he passed Luka on his way to the elevator.

* * *

Sam leaned forward on the locker, letting her forehead press against the metal grate, the coldness soothing to her sweating brow. It had been a long day, too many patients, too many who they hadn't been able to save and because she now saw practically only kids it made it all worse on the bad days like today. She hated having to let children go, she couldn't possibly imagine ever losing Alex or Grace and she didn't know what she would do if some smug doctor ever told her that they 'used all of their capabilities' and that it wasn't enough. Yeah, losing kids was definitely the worst and now all she longed for was to go home and see her children, to hold them and know that they were safe and to pray that they wouldn't be the ones rolling in on the gurney tomorrow.

Lost in her own world, where she dreamt that today hadn't happened yet and she could start over and work harder on every patient in the vain hope that they'd make it and their mothers would be able to see their faces light up again. So lost was Sam that she didn't notice when Luka entered the room and strolled to his locker, the one next to her's, and called out her name softly. In fact she didn't know that she was no longer alone until she felt his touch, his hand on her shoulder, the touch that sent shivers all around her body from her earlobes to her toes and reawakened everything that they had once shared.

She lazily looked towards him, allowing her head to rest on the locker door still and attempted to smile but all she managed was a twitch of her lip before they began to wobble. Sam stood up straight and placed her hand over her mouth as if trying to conceal her distress, she looked up at him, the tall man standing right in front of her, the one who had always managed to dry her tears even when he was the one who had caused them. He was her protector, the one that she ran to when she needed comfort, when she needed someone to listen and when she needed to be held. It occurred to Sam that in truth he hadn't been that man for a very long time but he certainly hadn't been replaced. No one ever made Sam feel as safe as she did when she was with Luka. She still remembered how shielded he kept her when they were together and still after they broke up, he tried not to care, she could see that, but he couldn't help the concern that he felt for her, that evidently now, he would always feel for her.

"Are you alright?" Luka whispered ever so softly. Sam shook her head and bit her lip. "Long day?" Luka didn't know if it was a good idea to try and comfort Sam when she was feeling down but he couldn't help it, when it came down to Sam being upset or in trouble he couldn't help himself, he needed to be there for her.

He was pleased at how well they had managed to get on these past three days, no yelling or arguments, not even so much as a minor disagreement. They were both acting civilly and extremely professionally, he was impressed with himself and Sam too, though part of him missed the passion that would fuel their fights and Sam's feisty nature that ensured that she always had the last word and won every argument.

She nodded. "I should have been prepared for this, I have worked here before, I have seen patients ... die." She reluctantly said, as if the word stung her. "But today, I don't know, it was different."

"Look, you haven't worked in a place like this for a really long time, it's going to take a while to adjust to what happens here." Luka said as he led her to the couch and made her sit down.

"Isn't it crazy?" She asked rhetorically. "You work here every day, and you become immune ... to all of the horror and death and suffering, not just of the patients but of their families and the people that love them. I mean, you think you don't. All the time you're here, you think that you understand what these people are going through, that you feel for them ... but you don't. You shut off, become cold and emotionless. And I don't know maybe that's the way it should be." Sam went quiet as she cradled her head in her hands. "I just never thought that it would happen to me, until I came back here and realised all that I had ignored when I was here before."

Luka took her hands from around her face and cupped them inside his, this made Sam look up and take notice of what he was about to say. "You don't need to worry about being 'emotionless' and 'feeling for people' all right? You are one of the most caring people that I have ever met and you have never once forgotten how to relate to others. You are the definition of a nurse, thoughtful, giving, beautiful on the inside and the outside, you carry everyone else's burdens and always try to do the right thing. There are times when I look at you or when I'm thinking about you and ... I am just amazed by you." He saw the tears that had welled up in her eyes and were now threatening to fall. Luka gave her a small smile and pulled her head onto his shoulder as he hugged her.

After a minute, Sam gently pulled out of his embrace and grasped his hands in hers as he had done, although just one of his large hands barely fitted into one of her delicate ones. He laughed a little at her and she did the same, their bodies so close that the breaths from both of their mouths blended together in the air and could be felt on the other's cheek. "You know Luka, if my situation wasn't was it is, then we could definitely ... there would be a chance for ... I would want to try to be something with you. But ..." She stopped having no idea what she was supposed to say. Should she tell him that she wanted him, just to take her now before she changed her mind? Should she tell him that there was absolutely no hope of anything ever happening between them and he would be better off giving up and finding somebody else? Neither one seemed very likely in Sam's mind and while she was still confused over what she wanted Luka to 'be' to her, she thought it best to say nothing.

She didn't have to say anything because Luka understood what was going through her head. "I understand and I can wait. I could wait forever for you." He said.

John paused at the door to the lounge when he witnessed what was going on inside. His view was far from perfect as the slats of the Venetian blinds and the lack of any light in the room made his vision blurry. However, what he did see was as clear as day, Luka and Sam's fingers were entwined, resting on her thighs and they were gazing at each other with that look in their eyes. John knew what that look meant, he had given it to Abby countless times, it meant that there was no turning back or denying it, the love between them had never truly died and it was right there staring them in the face.

He waited a moment before opening the door, at the sound of it Sam and Luka's bodies flew apart in a feeble attempt to hide their closeness but it actually did the opposite and made it completely obvious. "Hi guys, good day?" John greeted them casually.

Sam was taken aback by John's words. "Did he not see us?" She hoped not. "What? Er, no it was a totally shit day in all honesty. I, um, can't wait to get home to see my kids ... and, um, my husband." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either, Sam wished that her moment with Luka hadn't ended so abruptly and that she could have that moment once again.

"Well you don't have to wait that long, your little girl is at the front desk with the nanny and Abby and Joe. She is really cute by the way." John said as he picked up his coat.

"Who Grace, my nanny or Abby?" Sam joked with him and he laughed at her.

"Funny. The nanny is hot though." He said with a smirk.

"Yeah I know, young, blonde and leggy. Drew chose her over a 50-year-old woman who bred cats, it's still a mystery to me why." Sam replied sarcastically.

John opened the door again and held it open for Sam as she picked up her purse. "You coming Luka?" He asked.

Sam looked at Luka for the first time since they were interrupted and saw an uncomfortable smile on his face. "I'll be out in a minute, just need to get my jacket and everything." He returned her gaze and saw that she wanted to be alone with him again too.

"So shall we?" John said to Sam as he led her out of the lounge anddown the corridor into the ER.

"Sam, she is beautiful." Haleh cooed as Sam approached the desk, where she stood with Abby and Sam's nanny, Emma. "She has your eyes you know."

"I know. Hello, Gracie sweetheart, were you a good girl for Emma today?" Sam murmured in her daughter's ear as she kissed the top of her head and picked her up to cuddle her tightly. "I missed you all day."

"I miss you Mommy. Like lots and lots." Grace gripped her mother's face in her hands and sloppily kissed her right on the lips, Sam chuckled with her.

"She was an angel as always." Emma said to Sam. "The car's just waiting round the corner for us, since he can't park in the place where they bring all the ambulances."

"The bay." Carter spoke up.

"Sorry?" Emma said, shaking her head.

"The ambulance bay, that's where they bring the ambulances in." He winked at her and Emma smiled flirtatiously back.

Sam didn't even notice that Abby was standing behind Haleh until she moved towards the board and Sam saw the look of pure horror on Abby's face as she watched their exchange. She swore she could see Abby's eyes shining green with envy and her mind working to plot Emma's violent death. _"Guess there is something between them after all." _She thought.

"So Abby," Sam began, trying to distract her from her homicidal plans. "Where's Joe got to?"

"Oh, he's right here." Abby said and indicated behind her with her finger. "He's just got a little shy that's all." She turned sideways so that Sam could get a full view of her son, clutching on to his mother's hand and smiling cheekily at Sam and Grace.

Grace waved at him and blew him a kiss with her hand which made everyone laugh. "I think you have an admirer Joe," Sam said to him, "I can see why, you are a very handsome boy, and my daughter has good taste in men. Better than her mother anyway."

"Yeah I know what that's like." Abby replied, looking at her watch. "We should get home soon, it's almost time for bed. We'll just wait on Daddy to come and say goodnight Joe, okay?" She said to her son, though he was paying no attention and was utterly focused on watching Grace play with her hair. "I think someone has his first crush." Abby raised her eyebrows at Sam.

"He's not the only one." Sam responded as she watched her daughter play up to the little boy's attention by stroking her hair and grinning mischievously at him. "But we better get home too, it is getting late. We'll have to get them together again though, for a play date, sometime next week maybe?"

"That'd be great. He'll be with Luka next week so you'll need to arrange it with him."

"Have to arrange what with me?" Luka called out as he walked through the double doors into the main ER.

"Joe's very first play date with his first ever girlfriend." Abby announced proudly and beamed.

"So my boy's starting early, I'm teaching him well." Luka ruffled Joe's hair and pulled him into his arms to give him a kiss and then started to tickle him wildly.

"Daddy! Daddy! Stop it!" Joe cried as he giggled. Abby and Sam both smiled at the scene in front of them, Luka playing 'Daddy' was one of the cutest things either of them had even seen.

"So, we're going to go home now, see all you guys on Friday 'cause I'm off tomorrow. Say bye-bye to Joe, Grace." Sam said as she zipped up Grace's coat and prepared to leave. Grace said nothing, but did blow him another kiss.

Sitting in Luka's arms, Joe reached out with his hand to catch her 'kiss' and then placed it on his lips, sealing their puppy love forever.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Know it's been a while since the last update, but I am still writing! Thanks for all the reviews so far, it's good to know what you guys think! Read, enjoy and review! Love, Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 9.

Everyone in Chicago felt the chill as the effects of the frosty November morning swept the city. The icy road surfaces and steamed-up windows of the cars made driving a dangerous pastime in wintry Illinois, which is what gave Sam the incentive to take the El to work that morning.

The old coach rattled noisily along the tracks disturbing all who were in the vicinity of the line, inside however it was surprisingly peaceful which Sam was glad about as it gave her a chance to think. She had been brushing her teeth when she noticed the date on her calendar, she flipped the pages over to check and it had definitely been six weeks since her last period. She didn't want to get over excited and she didn't want to tell Drew yet, not until she was sure, after all six weeks isn't that unusual. Something inside her was different though and Sam thought that she could feel her unborn child growing inside her body. _"It hasn't exactly come at a great time." _Sam thought. She had just gone back to work, Alex was about to leave for college and Grace would be starting school in the not too distant future. This didn't faze Sam much though, she had come to a point in her life where she knew that she could handle almost anything, she had Drew by her side and he took care of her. They were happy with each other and with Alex and Grace and they had spoken about having more children so another pregnancy would seem the most natural next step for them. There was just something in the back of Sam's mind that was refraining her from being completely overjoyed and she figured it was because she didn't know for sure yet. _"That's easy, I'll just do a test today so I can find out, one way or the other."_

She sat and stared at the array of skyscrapers and the river flowing around them, and as the train pulled into the next stop she looked up to see the doors open and Luka get on to her carriage. He was wrapped in a long black coat and matching scarf and gloves which contrasted with the pale white complexion of his face. Sam smiled at how cute he looked when his cheeks and the tip of his nose became pink as he stepped into the warm train, despite his tall, masculine build he reminded her of a child shivering in the cold.

Luka noticed Sam sitting and nodded towards her, she gestured for him to come to her with her hand. As he approached the seat next to her she shuffled closer to the window and patted the space beside her to invite him to sit. "Morning." Luka smiled at her.

"Morning. It's cold out today huh?" She replied, noticing that her lips were dangerously close to his face, she leaned back and rested her head against the glass. They hadn't really spoken about the relationship they formed before she had come back to County and Sam didn't particularly want to. Pretending like nothing had happened and nothing was wrong worked well for her and Sam didn't mind being stuck in denial.

Luka however, was trying everything that he could to get her to be honest with him about the way that she felt. He knew that she still felt something for him, he could tell by the glances that they would steal as they passed each other in the halls and as they worked on patients together. When they got a chance they would sneak off for coffee and talk, about anything and everything it would seem except what was going on between them. It felt like an affair in itself but they weren't actually doing anything wrong, at least in their minds they weren't doing anything wrong. "Yeah, the winter is definitely here. No doubt we'll get plenty of MVC's coming in today. So, are you on all day or have you just taken a half-shift?" He asked Sam.

"All day, until six. I have to leave on time tonight because Alex has this college fair and he hasn't made his final decision yet about where he wants to go to school next year, so I have to go and do my mom thing." She rolled her eyes. "You know, I still don't feel like a proper mom, I remember taking Alex with me when I went to go look at colleges and now here we are again. Except now he's all grown up and my job is almost done, it has rushed by so fast." Sam sighed as she smiled and she could feel a long, emotional speech coming. "Sorry, just reminiscing, I'm gonna miss him so much when he leaves, he is the only person who's always been there with me, I don't know what I'm going to do without him."

"Don't worry about it. I understand, Joe's at kindergarten now, can you believe that? It feels like it was only yesterday when he was born. You think that when they're little that they'll be like that forever but they change so much every day. Last week, I tried to ask him something while he was watching TV and he told me to 'shut up' ... he got that phrase from his mother." Luka let out a chuckle and Sam did the same. He continued like that for most of the journey, telling Sam stories about Joe and she enjoyed it as he had never really liked talking about his other children with her.

Sitting there listening to Luka chat about his son, Sam was amazed at how natural it seemed to be. Luka was an amazing father, it came to him naturally you could tell, but that doesn't mean that it was any easier for him to accept that his little boy was growing up. He showed the care and worry that every father should and he knew that he didn't have all the answers. As she thought about this Sam tried to recall why she ever thought that she shouldn't have children with him, she had imagined the life they could have had when they were still together, she knew then that she wanted him to be the father of her children and that she wanted to be his wife but during that year so much happened that in the end she gave up. She let him go and she knew the second he told her that Abby was pregnant that it was the biggest mistake of her life. She had wished that she wasn't so scared and that she trusted her emotions more, in her heart she always knew that she never fell out of love with Luka but her head had told her that she shouldn't be with him. That he deserved more than she could give him and that ultimately they weren't supposed to last in the long term. When he rekindled his relationship with Abby, this only strengthened her belief that she didn't deserve him and that he had found somebody better. But looking back now and seeing his failed relationship with the mother of his child and the fact that she had brought herself back to County General even against her best judgement, Sam began to wonder if she was the right woman for Luka after all.

As the train pulled into the station they both stood up, Luka shuffled out of his seat and Sam took a step forward and as he turned around to face her again their bodies slammed together with extra force as the train stopped. They both looked at each other and smiled, caught in a moment that only the two of them shared. He half expected her to grab him and kiss him, after all that was what Sam liked to do to him on the El, but she didn't.

"_Sometimes I just feel very passionate ..."_

_Luka didn't have time to finish his sentence or even to think properly as Sam grabbed him with both hands and crushed his lips with hers. She pulled him under instantly, he was completely at her will, never had he been kissed so forcibly and passionately before, certainly not for the first time and she didn't seem to be coming up for air any time soon. He gripped the back of her head to hold her to him and she allowed one hand to wander around to his back and pressed her palm flat against the expanse beneath his shoulder blades. He then slid both of his hands across her shoulders and down her arms until they reached her waist, he squeezed on her hips slightly which elicited a small moan to escape from her mouth, one which did not go unnoticed by the other passengers on the busy El train. _

_The embrace of their lips broke for a brief moment, during which time they looked at nothing but each other as if expecting the other to object to this spontaneous and very public tryst. Luka gazed downwards at Sam waiting for her to make the next move, when she curled her lips into a half smile and fluttered her eyelashes at him, he took that as her move and so he leaned into her and reciprocated by kissing her as intensely as she had him. He wasted no time in sliding his tongue across her lips and requesting entrance to her mouth again where her tongue met his in a frenzied attack. They had re-positioned themselves so that Luka was holding Sam in his arms with his hands placed in the small of her back and she was cradling his jaw in her hands. Sam pulled her mouth away from his and ran her palms down to his chest before placing another couple of delicate kisses on Luka's lips. _

_"Well, that was ... unexpected." Luka whispered breathlessly. _

_"Was it unwanted?" She teased him, knowing that he wanted her as much as she wanted him._

_"No. That definitely was wanted and very welcome." He caressed her back softly, praying to God that she would come home with him tonight. "And here was me thinking that you hated me." He said with a smile on his face._

_"Who says I don't?" She rolled her eyes at Luka. "This is my stop coming up." She explained as she backed away from him. "I just had a pretty bad day that's all, and I wanted something to make me feel better."_

_"A pretty bad day? So what happens when you have a really bad day?" He stared at her seductively._

_"Well I guess we'll just have to wait and see won't we?" Sam smirked at him before hopping off the train and not looking back, knowing damn well that he was watching her walk away_.

Sam let out a breath and said, "We should get off now."

Luka's eyes widened, "What?"

"The El. I meant, we should be getting off the El." Sam's cheeks went red with embarrassment and she cursed herself for allowing another one of their 'moments' to occur.

Privately, Luka smiled as Sam rushed passed him and continued to walk in front of him so that he wouldn't see her blushing cheeks. He couldn't help but be reminded of the make out sessions that they had once enjoyed so frequently as they rode on the El together and he knew that it was what Sam had been thinking about as she gazed at him too.

Sam crossed her arms over each other and pulled them tightly into her chest as she marched out of the El station, leaving Luka behind and leaving herself in an even deeper

confusion as to what on earth she was supposed to be feeling. _"Twenty minutes ago I was mentally picking out colours for a nursery and now I'm fantasising about kissing my ex-boyfriend, what the hell is going on in my head? I must be crazy."_

* * *

Abby Lockhart breezed into the exam room with her white coat swaying behind her. She let out a breath as she watched Sam finish up on a patient, before attracting her attention.

"I'll be back to check on you later okay, Mrs Davies." Sam said soothingly to the elderly lady. "You just get some rest."

"Sam, hi." Abby waved at her. "You ordered a bunch of labs and the results are in at the desk. Just thought I'd let you know."

"Thanks Abby, you didn't have to do that. I'll be right there." Sam exited the room and Abby followed her.

"Sam? You ordered a pregnancy test for a Jane Doe, but I can't find a record of a Jane Doe anywhere. I was wondering if you made a mistake or if you needed some help with a patient who maybe doesn't want this on her medical records." Abby said quietly.

Sam was impressed with Abby's intuitiveness, any other day and she would probably be right, Sam would be helping a poor teenage girl escape her parents or the Social Services. Not today though. "Erm, this is sort of embarrassing. The test is for me, it's easier than buying one from a pharmacy and probably more reliable and I just didn't put my name on it because I didn't want anybody who saw it to gossip. Not until I know myself anyway." Sam muttered under her breath as Chuny passed by them and smiled at their clandestine conversation.

"Oh my God, it's yours!" Abby whispered excitedly.

Alarmed by her reaction at first, it took a while for it to make sense in Sam's mind. "Yeah, why is it ...? Am I ...?

Abby nodded. "See for yourself," she offered Sam a sheet of paper.

"Oh god, I'm pregnant, this is ... oh my God, it's great. It's unbelievable. It's just, wow." Sam explained, her mouth wide open in shock. "I mean, I expected it kind of but I didn't really believe it seeing as it took us quite a while to have Grace, so ..."

Abby grinned as she witnessed Sam's excitement and pulled her in for a hug. "Congratulations, I'm really happy for you. You wanna go get some coffee or something and talk?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you, thank you so much." Sam choked with tears of genuine joy in her eyes.

* * *

He watches her, much as he does every day, still astounded by the natural beauty that radiates through her skin and her wit that charms everyone that she meets. He watches her take the hand of a scared mother and comfort her the best way she knows how, by empathizing with her and giving her someone to lean upon. He wants nothing more than to tell her right now that she is the most beautiful woman in the world and that he loves her more with every breath that he takes but he knows that this is not the time or place. And that is what it's all about in the end, the timing, and the circumstances that force two people to collide if only for a moment. Now, fate had thrown them together once more but it was because of their own choosing that they had gotten close again. Suddenly filled with a certainty about his feelings for her and a confidence that the feelings were mutual, he decided that it was now or never, if there was ever going to be a good time to tell her that he loved her, now was as good a time as any.

They left the woman's bedside together, him following closely behind her and once they were out of earshot of the patients, Luka opened up the conversation with, "Sam, I was wondering if we could talk."

"What?" She spun round to face him. "Oh sorry Luka, I'm in a world of my own today. I really have to leave, so if you could talk quickly." She said as he made her way down the busy hallway.

"Actually, could we go somewhere more private?" He spoke softly and placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"Not really, I really have to get home, y'know?" It was then that Luka noticed the look of delight that was spreading across her face, there was obviously something very good waiting for her at home.

"Sam, are you all right? You look a little hyper." He asked her.

"I guess I am." She squealed, grinning at Luka who was still looking at her with an expression of utter confusion. "Well, I was going to wait until after I told Drew before telling anyone, but seeing as you're here and I need to get this out ... I'm pregnant."

Luka's face fell as Sam's words sank in. "What?" He gasped.

"I'm gonna have another baby. Can you believe it?" She asked, not expecting an answer.

"No." He spat. Luka stood in total silence for a few seconds as he attempted to collect his thoughts and make them somewhat coherent. "Where did this even come from, I thought you were going to leave your husband, I thought you didn't love him any more."

"I never said that, I was just confused." Sam replied harshly. "But I really want this baby and I want to have this baby with Drew. Luka, can you be happy for me?" She said and pleaded with him with her eyes.

He answered honestly. "I don't know. I can't understand where you're coming from, you can't stay with him just because you're having his child, that is no basis for a real relationship."

"Oh because of course you've never done that?" She snapped at him loudly and everyone turned to watch them argue as Sam continued walking towards the lounge.

Luka couldn't believe that she had thrown that in his face. "Maybe that's how I know what I'm talking about." He said to her, once they were in private.

"No, you don't know. This is a different situation that you know nothing about. I love my husband and I love my children and I love the fact that I am going to have another baby. I was waiting for something to stop my confusion and now I have that, I'm not confused about what I want any more. I am not going to leave them and you are just going to have to deal with that." She said as she slammed her locker and stormed out of the lounge, leaving Luka standing alone in the dark.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Thank you as always for the reviews. Read, enjoy and review. Love, Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 10.

Sam picked up the tiny blue jumpsuit and held it to her chest, which looked gigantic in comparison, and then brought a pink one up and held it on her belly, she gazed in the mirror and grinned at the sight of herself, giddy at the thought of being a mom again and loving every minute of it. She was forced to squint as the rays of the rising sun filled her bathroom with bright light. Now in the presence of light, she could also clearly see the ring of shopping bags that surrounded her feet, she hadn't realised how much she had actually bought. A few trips to the mall here and there, every time she would buy 'just a couple' of really cute and totally necessary things. When she pulled all of the bags out of her closet that morning, where she was hiding them from Drew, she finally began counting everything that she had purchased. So far, she had eighteen jumpsuits, each in a variety of colours, twelve pairs of shorts in different materials, twenty T-shirts each with a cute phrase or picture blazoned across it, and seven sundresses because if it were to be a girl she would be a summer baby and would therefore need to be dressed appropriately. And that wasn't including the array of accessories, toys, shoes and blankets that Sam had also picked up 'while she was there'.

"Maybe I went a little overboard." Sam said to herself as she sipped from her orange juice.

"Mom, I think that is the understatement of the year. You don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet, you're going to have to give half of this stuff away." Alex entered the room and started to gather up the various bits and pieces that Sam had scattered around the place.

"Well good morning to you too. And I won't have to give it away, we can save it for the next one." She smiled as Alex came to her to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Another one? You're not going to have another one are you? Aren't you a little old to be getting knocked up again now?" Alex replied jokingly.

Sam smacked him with a stripy green booty. "Watch it. I am not too old for anything, although I know most women aren't having more babies when their oldest baby is going off to college," she ruffled his hair gently and he batted her away, "I did start a little early with you, maybe too early, not that I regret it for a minute." Sam paused and took Alex's hands into her own and looked him straight in the eye. "I love you honey, I want you to know that. And no matter how many other babies I have, you will always be my first and my most precious gift that I have ever gotten. I couldn't have made it to this point without you, you gave me my reason to keep going and I know that I've put you through a lot. But the fact that you are here now, so grown up and so smart, and handsome," Alex blushed, "and you're thoughtful and caring towards me and your stepfather and your little sister and respectful to everyone that you meet. You make me so proud to call you my son, and after everything you've been through you have grown up to be even more incredible than I could ever have imagined. And I can't believe that you came from me." Sam ended up whining as she choked back her tears.

"Aw, Mom. Come here." Alex hugged his mother, he was getting pretty used to her emotional outbursts, good and bad. She had had a lot of them when she was expecting Grace and he knew that he had almost another seven months left of Sam crying, yelling, laughing and arguing without any warning.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's just the hormones y'know? Well that and this is a really emotional time for me, I'm having a baby and that's really happy and frightening and you're leaving me which is just plain frightening. Grace is talking like crazy and always wants to have conversations with the baby, and the scary thing is she thinks she can hear the baby talking back to her." Sam wiped her eyes and shook her hair out of the mess it had become when Alex had hugged her so tightly. "You don't wanna be hearing all this, I'm sorry. You can go if you want or did you want something? Is that why you came in?"

"No Mom. I just came in because I heard you up and I wanted to get a chance to see you, don't want you forgetting about me now that you're gonna have another child stealing my thunder." He laughed. "Honestly, Mom I miss you and when you're not crying you can be pretty cool to hang out with." Alex looked downwards at his mother, his six foot one inch frame now towering over her.

Sam stared at him, amazed still at how wonderfully he had turned out. Her baby boy wasn't so much of a baby anymore and instead of her being there to soothe him and dry his tears now he was taking care of her. She liked it in a way, it made her feel like maybe over the years she had managed to look after him better than she thought she had done and that then perhaps she had a chance of being a good mom to Grace and her new baby as well.

At that moment, Sam didn't think that she could have been happier. Everything in her life was figuring itself out, she wasn't confused and wasn't questioning her own emotions, and she finally felt content. Nothing could bring her down from that feeling of euphoria, she was flying too high.

* * *

What a difference a few hours makes. Sam sat on the cold, uncomfortable tiled floor of the women's bathroom in the ER unable to move since she had collapsed there a few minutes ago. She could barely even think, all she could do was take in the environment around her. She saw the green floor, the white washed walls and the dozens of pipes that snaked across them. She could hear the comings and goings of the busy emergency room outside, patients making demands of the nurses, doctors yelling at the med students and frustrated people wanting to know how long it would be before it was their turn. She smelt the undeniable stench of disinfectant that the bathroom seemed to be coated in, it was so clinical, so formal and impersonal. This was no place to lose a baby.

Sam first felt it an hour before, an awkward but not entirely painful cramping in her abdomen. Of course she immediately thought the worst and she rushed to the bathroom in a panic, once she had checked and seen that she wasn't bleeding she began to relax and assumed she was just over-reacting and that all she needed to do was to calm down. However, when she had returned to use the bathroom a while later she was faced with the reality that she was bleeding heavily and quickly from her vagina. She immediately knew, it was like getting her period only it was heavier, she had heard those words come from the mouths of many patients and some of her friends over the years and it always meant the same thing. She had suffered a miscarriage.

"Sam, oh my God, are you okay?" Abby walked in through the door and rushed to her side as soon as she saw her, curled up in the corner. She knelt down to take a look at her and noticed that Sam's scrub bottoms were soaked through. "Oh God, Sam you're bleeding, do you know that?" Sam nodded and lifted her head up and Abby could see her tear-stained cheeks and swollen eyes. "Well I'm gonna have to check you over, if you're losing this much blood you might need a transfusion."

"I'm not just losing blood ... I'm losing my baby." Sam spluttered through tears.

Abby realised that right now was not the time to act like a doctor, it was time to act like a friend. She sat down besides Sam and wrapped her arms around her, placing Sam's head on her shoulder. "I know, honey, I know. It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay." She whispered soothingly. They sat there for a moment in silence but Abby knew that she had to make sure that Sam was all right. "Sam, I'm gonna have to do an exam and run a few tests okay? I'm sorry but it's really important that you get checked out." Sam wanted to protest but she knew it was no use, she knew that she could be in danger and that Abby was only doing her job. "Do you want me to go and get a gurney or a wheelchair or would you rather just walk?"

"No, no. I don't want anyone to know. If I walk out of here like this," she gestured towards her clothes, sodden with blood, "then everyone's going to know what happened." Sam broke down again, teardrops rushing down her face.

"Okay, it's okay. I am going to go and get you something else to wear and then I'm going to take you somewhere private to look you over. I'll be back in two minutes, all right? Don't move and just stay awake, I'll be back." Abby said as she left Sam and exited the bathroom. As she turned the corner, she leant against the wall for a few seconds and exhaled deeply, allowing herself a moment to feel. She hated having to do exams on women who were miscarrying, and now that it was someone who she knew and worked with and was developing a good friendship with, she knew it would be even worse.

-x-x-x-x-

Sam lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling, Abby was talking to her but she wasn't really able to take it in so instead she focused on a flickering red light on the security alarm in the corner of the room. She felt nothing during the physical exam and she didn't feel Abby take her blood but she did feel something, she felt emptier, like she had less life in her now and that part of her was missing. She couldn't even form a thought, not about the baby or her own welfare and she could only remember the past thirty minutes since she noticed the bleeding, everything else was hazy. She wanted so much to go back to when she woke up that morning, she couldn't quite remember why, just that it had been a happier time than now.

"Sam? Sam? Can you hear me? Sam?" Abby's panicked voice washed over her and reawakened Sam from her lapse of concentration.

"Oh, yeah. I can hear you." Sam replied apathetically.

"Sorry, you scared me a little, thought you might have passed out. Did you hear what I said?"

"Hear you say what?" Sam sighed as Abby flattened down the blankets around her.

"You have had a miscarriage, I am so sorry. You lost a lot of blood so I've given you a litre of O-Neg to be safe. I've called for an OB-GYN consult but I can tell you that they're gonna have to take you upstairs for a D&C. I'm gonna go up with you and get you settled in and I can stay with you if you'd like during the procedure and then afterwards if you need me. Do you want me to call Drew for you? I'm sure he'd like to be here for you. I am just so sorry Sam." Abby spoke quietly and slowly, unsure of what to say as Sam wasn't responding to her at all. "Sam?" She took her hand and Sam sluggishly raised her head so her gaze met Abby's.

"Yeah, I understand, it's okay really, I'm okay." She breathed weakly and then laid her head down on the pillow once more. Once Abby had left the room, Sam's eyelids began to shake and she let her tears trickle as she lay alone and in pain.

* * *

Sam's eyes sat fixated on the saline drip standing next to her bed, she was lying still without so much as a twitch of movement so she appeared to be sedated. It was her attempt to block out the world, if she didn't interact with those around her then what they were telling her couldn't be real, the baby didn't die and they hadn't just scraped out every last remaining piece of her child from her.

A tall man with a broad chest and shoulders and dark brown hair that matched the colour of his glassy eyes sat beside her, hunched over the bed with one arm holding his head up and the other laid across Sam's stomach, clasping her hand inside his. Drew had not moved from his position in two hours, he simply sat there in silence, watching his wife and praying to God that they could get through this together. He wanted so much to cry with her, to let her know that he was there for her and he wasn't going anywhere but she had ignored him since he came in and then proceeded to turn away from him and stare out at the other side of the bed. It was hard for him to watch her, knowing that she was in pain as he felt it too and he knew that she must feel even worse. She was the woman that he loved and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and she was shutting him out at a time when they needed to be together.

"Sam, honey, do you need anything at all?" Drew whispered, his words barely louder than a breath and yet they shattered the uncomfortable silence in the room. "I just thought I could get you a cup of tea of something, maybe something to eat." Sam remained mute. "Look, I know that this is awful, but we have to talk about it and I know you don't want to but we have to at some point, you can't just ignore me forever." He paused, hoping for some reaction from her, when he got none he continued. "Sweetheart, if you don't wanna talk because you think I blame you or that I'm angry, I'm not okay? I'm not. I'm just worried about you, you need to tell me how you feel, please Sam, baby ..."

Sam winced in pain at Drew's last word, all she was trying to do was to take her mind off their baby and all he wanted to do was to remind her of it, why didn't he understand that she didn't want to talk about it now? She slowly turned her head towards him, using all the energy she had left and spoke to him weakly. "I am exhausted right now, could we please talk about this later?"

Drew looked into her eyes but the look was not returned, he thought that she was just trying to push him out so he pressured her further. "Well I know that I feel really sad, we lost our baby and that makes me sad. The thought of not seeing him or her grow up makes me feel emptier. It hurts me so much to see you in so much pain and not being able to do anything for you makes it even worse. I miss the baby and I didn't even get a chance to meet him, I miss seeing that expression of pure joy on your face because you were so happy to be pregnant again. You were glowing and it made you so beautiful and I know that you would have made such an excellent mom to a new baby just like you are already. And it wasn't just us who were happy about it, Alex and Grace were excited too and it just felt right, like our new baby would have fit in perfectly in our family. But that doesn't mean that we're less of a family now, we're not, we are still a family and we always will be. I love you so much, you are everything to me, you are my life. You brought Alex into my life, we made Grace together, you have completed every part of me and I never want that to end." Drew stopped and held back his tears, he wanted to stay strong for Sam. "And if at some point in the future we both want it, we can try again and we can have another baby. Which won't mean that we would have forgotten about this one, we will always love this baby. I love you Sam and I'm willing to do anything I can to support you and help you through this because I can't begin to imagine what you're going through. I just need you to give me the chance to be there for you."

Sam matched his stare and she could see in his eyes that he was being genuine but she knew that already. Everything that he was saying to her was true, she knew it was what he was really feeling because he never lied to her about his feelings. He was sitting in front of her, proclaiming his love for her and their children, saying that he would never leave her and that he wanted to understand what she was going through and to help her with it in whatever way he could. Drew was telling her all the right things, everything that she was supposed to want to hear but it was of no comfort to her. His words meant nothing, they washed over her but she couldn't really absorb them. For the first time in their marriage Sam felt truly alone, and that feeling was the one that scared her the most, more than the sorrow and desperation that she was feeling about her miscarriage, this was something that she felt might never be put back together.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Don't know if I've still got any readers left because it's been so long since my last update but here the next chapter is anyway! Thanks to **bjmart **who gave me the idea for this chapter! Read, enjoy and review please! Love, Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 11.

Sam closed the door of her black Mercedes with her hip and used the remote key to lock it. She slung her purse over her shoulder and stepped quickly to the front door of her home and jammed the key into the lock.

She had only been in the ER for two minutes before Ray sent her home. He was the only person at work besides Abby and Luka that knew about the pregnancy and she was regretting telling them now. Sam hated to be wrapped in cotton wool, especially at work but Ray had insisted. He told her that he already had someone to cover her shifts for the rest of the week and as she began to argue with him, Abby joined them. She told Sam in no uncertain terms that she wasn't to come back to work until she was absolutely ready, and that whether she was ready or not would be judged by their standards and not her's.

And even though it frustrated her to admit it, they were right. She needed to take some time to be alone and to grieve for her baby. The miscarriage had hit her hard and while Sam was feeling as fragile as she was now, working in the ER, a place which is emotional at the best of times, was not a good idea.

Sam shut the door behind her and entered the security code into the keypad before turning around to place her keys onto the hand-carved table on her left, she paused when she saw Alex's backpack thrown underneath it, along with another bag that she didn't recognise. "Alex? Alex, honey are you home sick?" She called out as she dropped her keys and her purse on the table.

Sam walked lightly along the hallway, her heels clicking on the polished floor, and she heard the distant sound of music coming from one of the bedrooms so she wandered up the staircase and as she moved further and further down the hall towards Alex's room, the intensity of the sound increased.

She came to his bedroom and knocked lightly on the door with two fingers, although that wouldn't do much to attract his attention considering the level of noise coming from within the room. Sam turned the doorknob, slowly opened the door and peered around it, "Alex, honey are you all right? I saw your ... Oh my God!" Sam shrieked, her eyebrows practically jumped up so far they hit her hairline when she saw Alex, obviously naked with a girl who Sam did not recognise and they were in his bed doing something that she really didn't want to think about.

The young girl screamed and jumped as far away from Alex as she possibly could without falling off the bed and Alex turned to face his mother, who wore a look of pure horror that couldn't be disguised as she quickly slammed the door shut.

"Oh God, shit! Sorry, I'm sorry but I need to go and talk to her." Alex rushed his words as he scrambled around the room and threw some clothes on. "You should probably get dressed again." He said to his girlfriend.

"Ya think!" She snapped back at him, her face burning red with embarrassment.

Alex cautiously eased the door open and closed it behind him, leaving him facing his mother, who was leaning against the wall opposite with her head in her hands. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, not after seeing the way that she looked at him. He had only ever seen her look so repulsed when she had been around his father and he hated the thought that he was reminiscent of him.

Alex leant his back against the door behind him and gently scuffed his feet against the wall in nervousness. After a while he murmured in a child-like voice," Look, Mom, I don't know what to say."

"Well you can start by telling me who the hell she is!" Sam's head shot up and she looked at Alex accusingly.

"Her name's Becky, she's erm ... she's my girlfriend." Alex tucked his hands into his pockets and began rubbing the seam of his pants furiously between his thumb and his forefinger in an effort to distract himself from what undoubtedly would become an even more uncomfortable conversation.

Sam let out a sigh and half-laughed under her breath. "And when were you planning on telling me about her? Or were you hoping that you wouldn't have to tell me at all? And you could just continue banging her under my roof?"

"Oh, Mom!" Alex cringed. "That's not what this is."

"Really? 'Cause that's what it looked like to me. Or do you expect me to believe that you two were just holding hands under there Alex?"

"Mom, it's not what you think. I ... I love her."

Sam rolled her eyes and sneered at him. "Like hell you do. If you really love her then how come we haven't met her? Are you that ashamed of your family? Or is it that you're too embarrassed about your whore of a girlfriend!"

Sam heard her words as they echoed through her head and she knew how harsh she sounded but she couldn't help it. To say that she was taken aback by the scene that had just played in front of her was a gross understatement. Seeing her son, her baby, having sex with a girl she didn't even know was something that Sam was definitely not prepared for and certainly not when she was in her current, delicate frame of mind.

"Do not call Becky that!" Alex exclaimed defensively. "She isn't a whore, she's my girlfriend and we weren't doing anything wrong."

"You don't think that you were doing anything wrong?" Sam took a step forward and shoved her pointed finger into his chest, glaring at him with anger blazing in her eyes. "Tell me this, how old is she Alex? Is she underage? Have you been having sex with an underage girl!"

Alex ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged his shoulders lightly as he stared absent-mindedly at the carpet.

"Oh my God, I don't believe it! How could you have been so stupid to be screwing that little tramp? This relationship isn't going to go anywhere Alex, I know you think you love her but it's obvious to me that she's just a cheap slut!"

"Well, when it comes to teenage sluts you are the expert after all Mom!" Alex shouted impulsively and immediately he regretted his words. Sam stumbled backwards and fell against the wall. He saw the hurt in her eyes and the look of shock on her face as she struggled to take in what her son had just yelled at her.

"Just get her out of here, okay?" She whispered, her voice breaking up as she turned to walk back along the hallway and descend the stairs.

Alex paused, looking at his closed bedroom door and wondering whether to go back in to face his girlfriend's wrath or whether to go after his mother. Deciding, as he always would, that his mom was more important he made his way downstairs and followed her into the kitchen where he found her noisily making coffee.

"Mom, I didn't mean ..." He muttered apologetically before she stopped him.

"Alex, I don't want to hear it. Just get her out of my house and let her know that she isn't to come back."

"I'm sorry for what I said, you know that I don't think that you're a slut. I just said it because I was angry, and I know that you're angry too and you have every right to be but instead of arguing can we please just forget about this?"

Sam slammed her mug down and gripped the edge of the work surface with both hands, leaning on it for support. "Er, no Alex, we cannot just forget about this. You decided to skip school on a day when you knew I would be at work so that you could bring some girl, who you didn't even see fit to introduce me too, back to my home and have sex with her. Of course I'm not going to forget about this, for God's sake the image of you two is going to be permanently imprinted in my mind, we have to talk about this Alex, whether you like it or not, you are in the wrong here and we are gonna sort this out."

"Sort what out? There's nothing to talk about, especially not with you, you're my mom, it's weird."

"Yeah, well it's weird for me too but I need to know if she's the only one or have there been other girls here that I don't know about? Are her parents going to be banging down my door when they find out? Or do they already know? Is it just me who's been left in the dark? And most of all, I need to know that you're being safe. Are you?"

"Of course I am! I'm not stupid, I know about pregnancy and STDs and HIV and the rest of it, you've always drilled that stuff into me. I know how to be careful."

"Obviously, I haven't told you enough or you wouldn't be having sex at all. You're too young Alex and that Becky looks even younger than you. I don't know why you're acting this way, I thought that you were doing well, at school and at home and it turns out you're going off the rails and I didn't even notice." Sam took a large gulp of her coffee to try to calm herself down and rubbed her eyes wearily.

"Oh please, I am doing just fine. Stop talking to me like a kid, I'm not misbehaving, everyone does it Mom, it's no big deal. I'm not going around impregnating girls or spreading chlamydia, I'm just having sex with my girlfriend. It's completely normal and if you weren't so busy freaking out you'd see that it's normal too. You're just overreacting right now because you lost the baby, if it were any other time then you'd be cool with this."

"Firstly, you have no right to use my miscarriage as an excuse for your behaviour. Don't you dare try to lecture me about it. Secondly, I would never 'be cool' with this. Now you need to learn that there are consequences for your actions, you're grounded ... for a month. We'll talk more about this when you've calmed down." Sam went to sit down and turned her back to Alex.

"I am not the one who needs to calm down. You need to learn that you can't just have a go at people because you've got anger to spare. Just because you won't talk to anyone about what happened doesn't mean that you can shout at us for no reason and blow everything out of proportion." Alex's voice got louder and louder and Sam opened her mouth to reply but he cut her off. "I don't know why Drew puts up with you, all you've done for the past week is snap at him no matter what he does or says. He's been trying to make you feel better and let you know that he loves you and you're acting like a bitch. You've pretty much ignored me since you came home from the hospital, and you won't even give Gracie a hug when she asks for one, she came crying to me yesterday because she thought you didn't love her anymore. I know that you've been through a lot but you're not the only one who lost a baby Mom, we all did and we're all sad about it and if you don't want to talk to any of us about it then fine. Go and get yourself a shrink or something, but stop taking it out on us, we haven't done anything wrong and I'm sick of tired of you treating us all like shit!" He screamed at his mother and started to back away as she came towards him and slapped him hard across the cheek.

"Don't you ever speak to me like that again!" Sam screamed in his face, her voice so vehement she scared herself and a weakness rushed through her body and caused her limbs to shake. Her eyes met Alex's and she saw the level of disbelief in them, the shock at her having just hit him. Sam could also clearly see the large red mark that her hand had left on his face and she was suddenly filled with guilt. "Alex honey, I am so sorry." She reached out to touch him but he flinched, turned his back to her and walked out of the door.

-x-x-x-x-

Alex stepped out of the doors of County General and into the cold evening air, he continued walking across the street until he came to the Jumbomart which, externally at least, appeared relatively unchanged. He didn't really know why he was there or what he expected to find by coming here but he knew that he needed a break from his mom. And more importantly, he needed a chance to talk about his mom with someone who knew her. She was so different since losing the baby and he didn't know how to deal with her right now. And since Luka had called a few days ago to check on her, Alex assumed that they were friends again. After all, he wouldn't have phoned her home to see if she was alright if he didn't care about her would he?

He entered the coffee joint and was immediately hit with the aroma of greasy hotdogs and processed cheese. After he picked up his double tall frappuccino and paid the rather dissatisfied cashier behind the counter he turned to walk out again. As he did, he saw Luka hunched over by the window and staring into his coffee cup.

"Hey, Luka. Is that you?" He said when he got closer to him.

As much as his voice was deeper and his tone much less childish, Luka could tell exactly who it was before he turned around. He had recognised the voice the second he picked up the phone when he spoke to him last week and he remembered it now. Luka had felt quite grateful that it was Alex who answered and not Drew, he didn't really want to try and explain to his ex-girlfriend's husband why he needed to know how she was. But, luckily it was Alex that he talked to and they managed to have a good and not entirely uncomfortable chat.

"Hey Alex, buddy how are you?" Luka stood up to engage in that age-old tradition, the Man-Hug.

"I'm good, well sort of. How's everything with you? Mom told me that you're still the ER chief … and that you and Abby broke up, sorry about that. Hey, how's Joe?"

Luka, at first, couldn't piece together what he was going to say to Alex, he was just so shocked that Sam had been telling Alex about him. He wasn't sure what it meant and he didn't know if it meant anything at all, but at least she didn't forget about him the moment she went home. He was still on her mind, just like she was always on his.

"Erm, yeah." He finally struggled to get out. "I'm still working here, Joe's gotten really big now and he's just started school, he's doing great."

"Do you still get to see him?" Alex asked, understanding how important it was for kids to know their fathers, though in hindsight he knew that all those years he spent wanting his dad around so much was a mistake.

"Yeah, of course. Actually I'm seeing him tomorrow, I'm gonna take him to see the Cubs game." Luka announced proudly, smiling.

"That's great … that's really good." Alex went quiet.

"Alex, why are you here? Were you at the hospital? There isn't anything wrong with your mom is there?" Luka couldn't hide the panic that escaped in his voice and Alex noticed it, but not knowing what it meant he mostly ignored it.

"No, no it's not Mom. She's fine … well not exactly, but she's healthy is what I mean. I actually came here looking for you and they told me that you'd already left so I thought that I'd missed you."

"Okay, so what did you want to see me about?" Luka pulled out the stool next to him to invite Alex to sit down.

"It's about my mom. And I get that this is gonna sound weird that I came to talk to you about her because you guys were like a 'thing' and then you didn't see her for years, but I figured that you're still one of the people who know her best. And when you called the other day to ask after her I guessed that you still care about her right?"

Luka brought his hand up to his face and leaned into it, whispering loudly, "I do."

"So you're friends again? You're close?" Alex asked.

Luka didn't really know how to answer the question or even if he should. Was he supposed to lie to Alex and say that yes that were friends but that they didn't talk to each other anymore because he's in love with her? Should he say that they're on the brink of having an affair? Or say that they are colleagues and nothing more? The truth is Luka didn't know if anything he said would be the truth because he wasn't sure what he and Sam meant to each other. He remembered that she had told him that nothing was going to happen between them and that she was staying with Drew but that's when she was having his baby. Would everything be different now? Or would they go back to pretending? He needed to speak to Sam, part of him hoped that he could have spoken to her when he called her at home, so that he could let her know that he was thinking of her and that he was there for her. He couldn't wait for her to come back to work, he missed seeing her everyday, he missed the secret glances they would share, the times they would touch each other ever so lightly when no one was looking. He was in love with her and he didn't want to hide it anymore, but he knew that Alex was not the person he should be telling this to, so he lied.

"Yeah, we're friends, we get along really well, she's great." Luka put on a smile, took a sip of his coffee and turned to look out of the window.

They sat there in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments, Alex uncertain of why the mood had suddenly changed and Luka unsure of what to say next.

"So, anyway, I came to see you because I wanted to ask you if you knew what's wrong with my mom. She's been acting really weird since she lost the baby and I know that she's upset and everything but she won't talk to anyone about it. We keep trying, Drew especially, to get her to open up, we're so gentle with her because we don't want to make her worse but she still won't talk." Alex restarted the conversation.

Luka immediately saw a flaw in their actions, Sam doesn't like the gentle approach, she likes to shout, to get angry, and to let it all out that way. That's where they differed because he didn't like to do that at all, he didn't want to waste time arguing when they could have just enjoyed being together. But looking back, he would gladly have endured some more fights if it meant that all the time they had spent not communicating at all was erased.

"So she's been depressed?" Luka asked and Alex nodded. "Give her time." Luka knew that Sam would get through this, she's a stronger person than she ever gives herself credit for and she's coped with everything that life has thrown at her before. And if she needed some help, he knew that he was the one that she would open up to. "She's working through her pain in her own way and when she's ready to talk about it she'll let you know."

Alex nodded again and looked out at the street pensively. "Thanks Luka, I don't really know why I came here, it's just when I was thinking of mom in trouble I kind of thought of you."

Luka let out a laugh. "Yeah, that's true." He paused for a moment and waited to ask Alex something that he really wanted to know. "So what's up with Drew? Is he a good guy?" He shuffled in his seat and finished the last of his drink in an attempt to look casual.

Alex was caught off guard by the not so subtle question. "Uh, I guess so. I mean he loves Mom, he takes care of her and Grace, so yeah he's a good enough guy in my books. Why?"

"No reason, I was just wondering, your mom doesn't have the best track record and I wanted to make sure that she's in good hands, obviously she is." He replied bitterly, somehow if Alex had said that Drew was a complete bastard it might make it easier to be in love with his wife.

"Right." Alex said, not entirely convinced. "So, I better be getting back, Mom'll kill me if she doesn't get to finish yelling at me tonight." He stood up to leave and threw his empty cup in the trashcan.

"It was good to see you Alex." Luka offered his hand for Alex to shake. "You've really grown up and you've done your mom proud. Give your mom my best and tell her that I'll see her at work. See you around?"

"Yeah definitely and I'll pass that on to Mom. See you later Luka." He waved as he walked out of the store.

"Bye." Luka replied. He was left, if it was even possible, even more confused about Sam and he vowed to clear the air with her when he saw her next.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Thank you to CarbyLivesOn, my faithful reviewer! Enjoy! x

She's The One - Chapter 12.

John Carter whistled as he erased the name of a patient from the board and picked up a new chart from the rack.

"Whistle while you work eh?" Abby smirked at him as she appeared through the waiting room. "Good morning John." She shrugged off the last few snowflakes form her coat and unwrapped her scarf from around her neck.

"Good morning Abigail. You're in a fine mood this morning, even though we woke up to the first snowfall of the winter ... and what a blizzard it is." He said as he looked outside at the still rapidly falling snow.

"Well, Joe went to Luka's last night so that means that I got to have a long, hot bath, order in chinese and crash out on the couch watching Friends re-runs. And then when I woke up this morning, there was no breakfast to make, no child to wash and clothe, no rushing out the door at the last minute, driving like a maniac and then throwing Joe out of the car at the school gates." Her blissful smile became a pout. "And I miss him already. But the alone time is nice though, a lot of mothers would kill for it." She directed her attention back to Carter. "So are we busy?"

"Not at all. No one can get in but it also means that we can't get out, I'll be stuck here for hours after my shift finishes."

"When's that?" She asked as she rummaged in her purse for her ID badge.

"Eleven. God I hate the odd shifts." He rolled his eyes.

"You wanna go back to my place, it's within walking distance. You can take a shower before I finish and then we'll have lunch or something. I'm done at twelve, just a half-shift today."

Carter leant across the counter opposite Abby and put his head in his hands, "So does that mean I'm finally forgiven?"

Abby chuckled quietly. "What are you talking about? I haven't been mad at you in ages."

"You haven't been nice to me." He whined.

"Stop being such a girl." She whacked him with her gloves and walked off, leaving behind a lovestruck John Carter watching her every move and wearing a goofy smile.

"Morning John." Luka greeted him as he approached the Admit desk in a hurry. "Sorry I'm late, I had to leave Joe with a babysitter today because the school's are closed."

"That's fine." He replied when he had snapped out of his daydream. "We're not exactly getting slammed." He gestured towards the practically empty waiting room.

Luka followed his gaze, "Right, you think it'll be this quiet all day? It'll give me some chance to catch up on my paperwork."

"Well I don't see the snow slowing up any time soon." Carter nodded at a weary looking Sam. "Look who's back today."

"Yeah I couldn't have picked a worst day for it huh? I take it we're not open to trauma, I couldn't even make it into the bay it's so snowed in, I had to walk all the way around to even get here. And that's after I got chucked off the El five stops early because it was unsafe, so I have walked miles in the cold, wet snow. I'm exhausted already and my shift hasn't even started yet." Sam sighed, she took off her heavy coat and peeled her sweater from her body. "Great, I'm soaked through. I need to go and change. Is there anyone in the lounge?"

"Just Abby." Carter answered.

"Right, I'll be back in a minute. Hey Abby." She said as they passed each other in the hall.

"Hey, how are you ...?"

"I'm good, thanks, talk about it later maybe?" Sam interrupted her.

"Sure." Abby smiled at her and went through to Admit to greet Luka. "Hey. Did you leave Joe with Mary today?"

"Nope, she's away on vacation for Thanksgiving remember? So I took him to Julie, Thomas' mom. Anyway, see you guys later." He explained as he shook his coat free of snow and left her and Carter standing alone at the desk.

"So are you coming over then? We could order a movie or something." Abby asked.

"Well I guess if you're that lonely and desperate for company, how can I refuse you?" Carter winked at her. "You wanna get some coffee?"

"From the cafeteria?" She cringed. "Why not, it'll kill some time." She led the way to the elevator with Carter following her.

-x-x-x-x-

Luka entered the lounge just as Sam was pulling a clean scrub top over her head. "Sorry," he mumbled though really he wasn't sorry at all. "I thought you'd be done by now." Another lie.

"It's fine. Actually I'm glad we're alone, I wanted to talk to you about something." Sam shut the door of her locker and proceeded to put her hair up with a clip.

_"Finally."_ Luka thought. _"She wants to talk this whole thing through"._

"I know that you spoke to Alex. And as much as I was surprised at first, I'm grateful, thank you for being concerned." She murmured softly and flashed him a smile.

Luka relaxed and dropped his coat on the couch next to where he stood. "You're welcome. I was surprised too, he just showed up, I wasn't expecting it at all."

"What? He showed up where? What are you talking about?"

"What are you talking about?" Luka echoed.

"Alex said that you phoned the house asking after me. He didn't say anything about him showing up anywhere, did he go to your apartment?"

"No, he came here, looking for me, to ask me about you." Luka replied casually.

"What! Why did he want to ask you what about me?" Sam crossed her arms and looked up at him impatiently.

"Nothing, he was just worried about you and how you've been dealing with what happened so he came to ask what I thought was going on in your head and what to do about it."

Sam's face turned red as she became angrier and angrier. "I cannot believe this ... and what exactly did you tell him? What makes you the expert about what's 'going on in my head'?"

"Look, don't overreact okay? He came to me, and it was just out of concern for you. Alex thought that I might know why you're not opening up to anyone because of everything we went through. He knows how much we cared about each other. And he just wants to help you ... and so do I." Their eyes met and Sam saw the genuine kindness in his.

Sam looked away but she could still feel Luka's eyes on her, she couldn't look at him at that moment, she was touched but she didn't want to show him that. "I don't need your help. I had a miscarriage. Big deal, it's done, it's over now. The reason I can't get over it is because no one will let me, everyone just wants to talk about it more and more and I don't need it okay?"

"I know you don't want to talk about it. You're mad right now, mad at me, at Alex, at your husband, at yourself. And all you want to do is scream and shout and let all of that anger out of your body. And you're trying to kid yourself that you're angry at me for wanting to be with you, and you're angry with Alex and Drew for being worried about you. But it's got nothing to do with that, you are pissed off with yourself because you had a baby inside of you and it died."

"Shut up." Sam spat, her eyes full of tears.

"And you think that it's your fault and that if you'd done something differently that it wouldn't have happened. But it did happen and it was nothing to do with anything that you did or didn't do, it just did."

"Shut up, just stop it!"

"It is okay to be angry but you can't keep blaming yourself. You didn't do anything wrong Sam, this was just bad luck."

"How the hell do you know? Maybe I drank too much before I found out I was pregnant, maybe I over-exerted myself, maybe I didn't exercise enough. There are a million things I could have done that killed my baby! And I will never know it was me or if it was just random, but it doesn't change the fact that I did lose my baby and I'll never have him back!" She sobbed, her body shaking violently and she began to slowly fall to the floor before Luka reached out to her and pulled her into him, encircling her with his arms.

"Shhhh, it's okay ... I've got you ... you're okay ... everything's okay." He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on top of her head, it was a small gesture but it made Sam feel better, it made her feel safe and taken care of.

She wrapped her arms around his back and squeezed him tight, not wanting to let go. After a few minutes her tears stopped and they were left standing, just holding each other, but neither one noticed because it felt so natural, it felt so right. He allowed one of his hands to come up to her head and stroke her hair gently and then he kissed her hair again. He was comforting her and for once she wasn't pulling away. Sam wasn't sure what she wanted in the long-term but she knew that in this moment, all that she wanted was to be close to Luka and to have him hold her.

Luka knew that it wouldn't be long until Sam changed her mind again and wanted nothing to do with him so he knew he had to saviour this moment and enjoy it while he could. He couldn't explain his feelings for her and he certainly couldn't suppress them but he knew that every time he saw her, every time he heard her voice, every time he thought of her, his feelings grew stronger. There was something going on that was bigger than him, it was like he was meant to be with her, even if he wasn't really _with_ her. Having her so close made him never want to let her go, he was realising what a mistake they made all that time ago and he knew he would give anything to have those six years back, so that he could spend them with her. He understood when she said that if they hadn't have broken up when they did then their lives would have turned out very differently and he knew that he didn't honestly want the last six years of his life to be erased. But when he thought that they could have shared so many more of these perfect moments, it made it difficult to not regret letting her go.

Sam wanted so much to understand what she was doing, or why she was doing it, but she couldn't. She had taken the time to think her life through, to make the tough decisions, but then as soon as she laid eyes on him, her world became hazy, like it does every time she looks at him. Part of her knew that this was going to ruin her life, but that fear was lost when she was with him. She didn't know why she loved Luka, she just knew that she did.

_Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time_

_Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you_

The phone ringing sharply brought them out of their blissful trance and back into reality. They both stepped back with their arms still entwined, looked at each other and smiled.

Sam wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks and blushed a little. "I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be. I want to be there for you." He took her face in his hand and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "You know that, I've made it clear what I want. I want you." He pulled her back in towards him but she pushed against him and stepped out of his embrace.

"I can't give you what you want. You want us to be together, to try and pretend that what we're feeling isn't really wrong and we can't do that. We share a few moments at a time and that's all it ever can be, I'm sorry. You want more than I can give you, you want me to leave my husband for you."

"And I'm the only one who wants that!" Luka raised his voice and stepped forward, towards her. "The way you look at me sometimes, our eyes meet and it's just like you know what I'm feeling because you're feeling it too, like it used to be. There've been times when we've been working and you'll squeeze past me and run your hand across my back or down my arm. You've been there with me when I've had a bad day, or when we've had a bad day together, and sometimes we just sit in total silence, but it fits and it's perfect ... like us." His tone got softer and softer until he stepped in front of her and he was whispering in her ear.

_Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time_

_And hung me on a line_

_Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you_

Sam melted under his touch and he wasn't even physically touching her. It felt like he was surrounding her, his body so close that she thought that if she fell right now she would fall into him completely. And she would be happy to. She breathed into his chest, across his skin where his shirt fell open and he felt the warmth vibrate along his breastbone. He took one finger and snaked it along the nape of her neck, she arched her neck backwards and although she tried to stop it, a moan escaped from her lips.

The phone began ringing again and they could hear the sound of approaching footsteps coming along the hall. Sam broke the eye contact between them and muttered "I'm sorry" before running out the door.

"Damn it!" Luka yelled as he punched the nearest locker.

Sam just ran from the lounge, she had to get out of there as fast as possible because she knew exactly what would've happened if she had stayed. She wanted to deny it, fight it, but she couldn't anymore. She was tired of fighting something that was so undeniable, she wanted Luka and he wanted her. She wanted to feel him, all over her, inside her, inside her soul, she wanted to feel his lips against hers again. He was _it_, she knew that, the one. He always had been, he was the love of her life and she had the chance to have that all over again. Her mind was full of confusion but one thing was clear, she wanted him to take her breath away and she wanted it now.

_Maybe I'm a girl and maybe you're the only man who could ever help me_

_Baby won't you help me understand?_

She turned around to see Luka exit the lounge and walk to the staircase, somehow she knew where he was going so she waited a few minutes to catch her breath before following him.

Luka looked out at the blanket of snow that had covered Chicago, it looked like a winter wonderland although it was still dark. The snow was still falling but less heavily and although he was cold, the view from the rooftop and the chance to be alone was worth it.

Sam twisted the doorknob and stepped out onto the wintry roof, the snow crunching beneath her feet. Luka turned around at the sound of her arrival and was about to open his mouth when she stopped him. She walked quickly towards him and upon reaching him, she took his head in her hands, ran her thumb down his cold cheek and across his lips. He opened them and kissed her thumb delicately. She shook her head slightly, slipped her thumb off his lips and brought them to hers. She kissed him, deeply, and within a second he was kissing her back, it was everything she was hoping for, she was nearly knocked off her feet. She felt his kiss everywhere, it was the touch that ran from her earlobes to her toes, he really did take her breath away and she hoped for a moment that she had taken away his too.

_Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you_

-x-x-x-x-

Song lyrics: Maybe I'm Amazed - Jem


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: Sorry again for the huge break in between updates. If there's any readers left, enjoy and please review! Petal x

She's The One – Chapter 13.

Sam made her way around the quiet ER, trying not to disturb the few patients that were getting some sleep before the busy morning shift began. She glanced at her watch, _5.25 am_, not too long now and she would be able to go home, not that she was planning on going home. She was practically giddy about her breakfast date with Luka, although they weren't calling it a date, because that would make it wrong. In her mind, if things didn't go too far and she didn't have to tell too many lies to cover it up then she could go on pretending that it was nothing more than a close friendship, pretending to herself that it is. Her mind was still a whirlwind of uncertainty and she didn't think that when it came down to Luka that she would ever be sure of anything, but right now she knew that being with him felt good, it felt right.

She bustled along the corridor, packing the drawers full of supplies as she went, and when she came to Trauma 1 she peered in through the window knowing that she would see Luka inside. He was sitting on a stool writing the chart for the comatose patient lying on the gurney next to him. She saw him lazily run a hand through his hair, obviously tired, before he stood up stretching. He was aware that he was being watched and when he turned to see her facing him through the glass his lips immediately curled into a smile. He laid the chart to rest on the end of the bed and swung the door open so that he was in front of her.

"Morning." He grunted, ever so sexily in her ear.

He couldn't help but try to seduce her at any available opportunity, not being with her was driving him crazy, sure he loved talking with her every day and being able to hold her hand when they were out of sight of their colleagues but he had fallen head over heels in love with her, and he wanted to be able to express that properly. He needed to make love to her, and he needed her to need it too.

She closed her eyes and ran her tongue across her lips as he leaned into her; it had been such a long shift and she felt like she'd hardly seen him at all and it was taking all of her willpower not to pounce on him there and then. But she reminded herself that they were standing in the middle of a hospital and simply replied, "Good morning." She stood back and smiled at him innocently, leaving Luka disappointed that he hadn't had the exact effect on her that he was hoping for. "I, um, need to put the rest of this stuff in the on-call room." She nodded towards the room behind them and then stood, looking at him suggestively while she waited for his response.

"Do you need some help with that?" He grinned.

"Yeah, I think I kinda do." As she went to open the door, he stayed in her shadow, not wanting to be apart from her for even a few seconds.

Sam dropped the supplies she was holding in the corner as Luka hastily slammed the door shut. He pulled her towards him and let his lips drop to her's, attacking them with firm but tender kisses. She threw her arms around his neck and he backed her up against the door, remembering to close the blinds, leaving the room in complete darkness. Not that they needed light for what they were doing. Luka allowed his lips to pause from their passionate assault on hers to travel down to her neck as he attempted to caress every piece of skin there with his tongue. Sam used both of her hands to grip his head and pull it back up to her's, kissing him softly at first, but she couldn't contain the desire she had for him and it seemed that he couldn't either. He used his thumb to pull her jaw down, leaving her mouth open and exposed and quickly slid his tongue past her teeth to collide with her's. Her hands left the side of his head to trace his shoulders and then his back, she pulled him in closer to her so that they could wrap together as one. He grazed the backs of her thighs with his fingers before lifting her up off the floor and positioning her legs around his waist. Sam locked her feet together so that they were fixed in the embrace. Luka's mouth once again tore away from Sam's to deliver kisses across her neck and continue down to her collarbone where he then began nibbling at her delicate skin.

This is what their relationship had consisted of for the past week; brief kisses and embraces that they would snatch during the day at work. They were nearly always interrupted but thankfully nobody had caught them yet. They would take their coffee breaks together and escape up to the roof or go for a walk so that they could be alone. If they went for lunch then they would travel that extra block or two away from the hospital to avoid being seen. They both felt wrong for enjoying it but the excitement of hiding their relationship was the added bonus that made it that little bit more fun.

Luka managed to tear himself away from her for a minute to whisper, "You don't know how much I've missed you", before his mouth found it's way back to her's.

Sam smiled against his kiss mumbling, "I do." She could feel the passion intensifying between them and Sam knew that if she didn't stop herself now that they could be disrobed in a matter of minutes. Resisting the urge to stay in Luka's arms and to let him take it further, she unwrapped her legs from around him and slid down to the floor, resting her head on his chest. He was breathing heavily and Sam could feel the breeze across her hair.

Luka let out a defeated sigh, "I guess this isn't exactly the most romantic place in the world. We should probably wait."

"Yeah." She smiled up at him, glad that he understood that she wasn't rejecting him. She couldn't reject him, she wanted him, needed him, so badly that it was killing her every night to go home without him.

They both leant in to kiss once more, a soft kiss with their lips barely touching for more than a second, them both knowing that they daren't make it any more passionate than that, otherwise they wouldn't be able to resist.

Luka pulled Sam in close, breathing her in and she listened to the sound of his heart thumping in his chest. Finally, he pulled away and looked down at her saying, "We should go finish up with our patients. I'll pick you up around the block when we're finished and we can go back to my place, you know, for breakfast"

They shared a look, both knowing what that meant. "Just for breakfast right?"

He grinned widely and then attempted to disguise it. "Of course, just breakfast. I'll um, make you poached eggs."

Sam smiled at him one last time before she re-opened the blinds and then left the room. Luka waited a few seconds before joining her in the hallway where they ran into Abby and Carter who were rolling their eyes at each other and sniggering between them.

"No, no, no. It was Andrew Ridgeley in Wham and Gary Kemp in Spandau Ballet." Abby stopped Carter in his tracks and turned to face him.

"So who sang 'We Close Our Eyes'?" Carter asked, rubbing his forehead.

"Go West." She stated exasperated. "God John, didn't they teach you anything in that rich-ass boarding school you went to?"

"Clearly not. But hey, at least I have you to guide me in the ways of crap 80's music." He mocked her.

"Hey, there's nothing crap about Spandau Ballet, they spawned the New Romantics. And they were hot, I had Gary's poster on my wall in college."

"Oh, and did you joyride to buy tickets for them to?" Carter chuckled as he walked back down the corridor with Abby slapping him round the head as she followed him.

"You cocky bastard. You wanna buy me a coffee?" She gave him a chart to sign.

"How can I possibly say no when you compliment me so beautifully?" He smiled and shoved the chart back into her hands. "But actually, I can't right now. I have to run up to the SICU and check on a patient. But I was thinking we could maybe go out next week, we're both off Tuesday and Wednesday. Do some Christmas shopping ... get lunch? It'll be my treat. Besides I need you to pick out your gift, you're never happy with what I get you."

"That's because you spend way too much money on me. And Joe for that matter, I hope you're not planning on getting him any more games consoles. He is way too young for all that stuff and you spoil him."

"It's Christmas. Every kid deserves to be spoiled on Christmas. And besides I'm the honourary godfather, it's my job to buy him stuff that you won't let him have." He tried to persuade her but from the look on Abby's face she was having none of it. "Ok, I promise, no more video games. But what about us? Are we on for next week?"

Abby nodded. "Sure. Seeing as it's your treat. And I would like to get my shopping done at some point before Christmas Eve this year."

"Great." Carter smiled as he backed away from her. "And think about what you want too, what you really, really want for Christmas." He winked at Abby before he disappeared into the exam room.

She watched him go. _"What I really want for Christmas? Carter, you know exactly what I want. I want you, I want us. I want that life with you that seems so simple now, but that I just know will all fall to pieces if we try. I want us to be straight and honest with each other, but how can I expect that from you when I can't tell you how I feel? I know what I really want for Christmas, I want the impossible."_ Abby was pulled out of her daydream as Sam tried to slide past her.

"Excuse me. Hello, Abby? Are you in there?" Sam murmured.

"Sorry, what?" Abby shook her head.

"It's nothing, I just need to get by. And you were miles away."

"Oh yeah, right. Here." Abby stood back against the wall and let Sam past.

"Abby, are you ok?"

"Yeah. I'm just in a world of my own that's all." She replied dreamily as she watched Carter with a patient.

* * *

Luka saw Sam approaching the car as he watched her in the rear-view mirror, he could see her fluffing her hair and straightening out her scarf before she got in. He loved that she looked as nervous as he felt.

He turned down the volume of the radio as she pulled the door shut. Sam shifted around in her seat before turning to kiss Luka, long and hard. When she pulled back, he began stroking her cheek softly with the back of his hand and she closed her eyes against his touch. He leaned in close to her again, breathing her in and she rested her head on his neck.

"Should we be doing this?" Sam whispered whilst wrapping her arms around Luka and squeezing him gently.

"Sam ... don't ... not now." He replied as he pulled her closer.

"But we never talk about this Luka, not really, not the consequences of it." She said into his chest.

"We have. We've discussed it over and over and we've come back to each other. This. Us. I know it seems wrong, but it can't be. Loving you could never be wrong."

Sam smiled against his jacket and felt her heart warm a little. He loved her, really loved her. Although he hadn't quite said those three little words it was close enough for now. She'd hoped that he did but it was still a surprise to hear him say it. She wanted to say it back but that was a door that she wasn't quite ready to open yet. If she let her guard down and told him that she loved him, she'd be stripped of all of her defences and would be left truly vulnerable. And that scared her, all the time that this wasn't love, it wasn't real and so there wouldn't be any fallout because of it. But it was real. Luka loved her, and though she couldn't admit it yet, she loved him too. Knowing that she wasn't going to get anywhere with her logical reasoning now she just lifted her head up to kiss him softly and mumbled, "Shall we get going?"

* * *

Sam stepped quietly through the door ahead of Luka and let her eyes pan around the apartment. Although the paint on the walls was duller, there were a couple of new rugs and some photographs of Joe scattered around the room, it was practically identical to how she had left it six years ago. She was surprised to find out that Luka even lived in the same apartment let alone that he hadn't even redecorated in all this time. The apartment still looked like a young man's bachelor pad, minus the family snaps, and Sam couldn't help but think of how tacky it was now that Luka was nearing fifty.

"The place look familiar?" Luka said as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

Sam leant back into his body and smiled. "A little. It's still green. I just thought that you would have found a new place by now."

"Well I've got a lot of good memories in this home, it kind of makes it hard to leave." He whispered on her skin as his lips nuzzled her neck. His hands travelled up her body until they reached the buttons of her coat where he began unfastening each in turn.

Though Sam knew she should protest against his seduction, the feeling of his hands against her bare skin prevented her from doing anything but letting him undress her further. As her coat slid off her shoulders and onto the floor she pulled his mouth from her neck and onto her's. Luka turned her body towards him and deepened their kiss, gently caressing Sam's tongue with his. Without leaving her lips, Luka unwrapped her scarf and tossed it onto the couch behind them. She tugged his coat off of his body and encased him in her arms.

Luka began to carefully manoeuvre them backwards towards the staircase and for a moment Sam didn't even notice that she was moving. As they came to the end of the room, Luka broke their kiss in order to turn and lead her upstairs. When Sam opened her eyes she was momentarily blinded by the beams of light descending from the open bedroom door. Luka smiled when he saw her squinting as he leant down to allow his lips to linger on her's, his figure blocking the light from Sam's eyes.

"I want you so badly." Luka's murmurings, although so full of passion and longing, awoke Sam from her dream world and once again set her down in reality.

How could she be here, in her ex-boyfriend's apartment which they had once shared? How could she plan to come here to sleep with him? It was like going back in time, except that they weren't back in time, they were here. And here, she was somebody else's wife. "I shouldn't be here."

"Luka, I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't, not now, not here." She withdrew from his embrace and retreated back towards the living room where she quickly pulled her coat and scarf back on.

"What? Sam, Sam, wait!" Luka had to practically chase her as she headed for the door. "I'm sorry okay? If you're not ready, we can wait before we ... We can just talk or whatever you want."

"No we can't, because we won't _'just talk'_. I can't help it, but it feels so wrong here and I just can't. I'm sorry, I'll talk to you tomorrow." She shot out of the door and Luka followed her into the hall.

"Sam, don't go, I ..." He paused as she turned around to face him. "I love you."


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own ER or any of it's characters, but I do own this story, etc, etc…

Author's Note: There are no Samka fics anymore and this makes me sad. Probably because there's no one to read them but anyway I'll keep chugging out chapters and flying the flag for delusional Samka fans everywhere! Read. Enjoy and review! Petal x

She's The One - Chapter 14.

"Okay, when do we stop for coffee?" Abby sighed as she fell into the armchair.

"We only had lunch an hour ago. You can't possibly be tired already? And you're not really supposed to sit on the furniture in the store." Carter said as he lifted her up and out of her seat.

"Well how am I supposed to know if I want to buy it? Which I don't by the way, it's the most uncomfortable piece of junk I've ever sat my butt on." Abby raised her voice as the store assistant walked passed them.

"Woah! Extra bitch alert. You must be really cranky."

"You know that I don't do shopping, especially not with you, because once you're in a mall you become a total woman. 'What does this look like on me?' 'Can I get this in a different colour?' Blah, blah, blah ..." She mimicked him. Abby couldn't figure out what pissed her off more, that Carter hadn't tried anything on with her since their kiss or the fact that she wanted him to try something on. It wasn't so much that she thought a relationship with him was an entirely good idea as she knew that between them they'd find someway to screw it up; it was more that he didn't seem to want her as much as she thought he did but for her the floodgates had been opened again. Now Abby knew how much she wanted him back and she thought that she'd only have to convince herself, but now it seemed she'd have to convince Carter to take a leap of faith too.

"Oooo-kay then, I guess it's a no to anything from Pottery Barn." Carter said as he ushered her out of the store, giving an apologetic smile to the shop assistant as they left. "Where do you want to go next?"

"Home." She smirked at him.

"Come on, you were up for this trip at the weekend, and besides we've only bought two things so far, neither of which are gifts. This day of Christmas shopping is turning into a disaster." He rubbed his head and took a swig from his bottle.

"Oh seriously? You bought a high glucose energy drink? This isn't exactly a marathon is it? A marathon would probably be more fun."

Carter chose to ignore Abby's scowl and continue in his upbeat and patronising tone. "See that's where you're wrong, it is a marathon, and you know where most of my energy goes? – listening to you whine. Now come on Lockhart, suck it up. We got lots more shopping to do, and if you're a really good girl I'll take you to see Santa."

* * *

Sam smiled as Luka's lips met her's across their cluttered table. They pulled apart as the waitress came to clear it of their empty plates and glasses. 

"That was delicious. Thank you for lunch." She muttered as she leaned in to him again.

"You're very welcome." He said, stroking her hair lightly. "You look so beautiful today."

Sam blushed. "It's the flattering mall lights, in dimmer light I just look yuck." She made a face.

Luka chuckled at her. "So where do you want to go once we're finished?"

"I don't know, maybe Pottery Barn. I need to get a tablecloth for my mom."

He rolled his eyes. "A tablecloth? Lucky Mom."

"It's what she asked for. Speaking of, what do you want?" Sam picked up her wine glass and finished off the last mouthful.

"You don't have to get me a gift. Just being with you is enough." He took her hand in his and smiled at her cheekily.

"That is so cheesy. So seriously, what do you want?" Sam smiled then she noticed the woman at the next table was watching them with a look of disgust.

Luka saw Sam's puzzled expression. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just she's looking at us like we're ..." She broke off once she followed the woman's gaze to their entwined hands.

"What is it?"

"She can see my ring, and that you're not wearing one." Sam looked down at the floor, and brought her hands up to cover her face.

"Hey, come on you don't have to hide. We'll just go."

"But we do have to hide. That's why we're here isn't it, hiding out where no one can catch us. I just wish we could have some time alone, without having to look over our shoulders every five minutes."

Luka let a smile spread across his face. "We will. I haven't told you what your Christmas present is yet have I?"

* * *

"Oh yeah, that is so you." Carter joked as he placed his shopping bags down and picked up an array of ties. "Now which one says 'I'm a serious, yet laid-back businessman'?" 

Abby pulled the multi-coloured beanie hat off her head and tried to flatten her now frizzy hair. "Definitely not the purple polka dot one, that just says 'I like to dress up like a woman in my spare time'."

"Maybe that's the look my dad's going for."

"You sure you don't want to get him something more personal? A book? A nice frame with a charming family photo inside it?" Abby sifted through the range of wallets.

"Wouldn't want to mess up our system, Christmas: tie, Birthday: shirt and for Father's Day he always gets socks and a bottle of scotch." Carter picked out a blue striped one and put the rest back onto the shelf. "What can I say? It works for us."

"Okay then, whatever you say. I think I'll get this one for Luka." She held up a brown leather wallet. "It's got a place for photos and I know he likes to carry one of Joe with him. Is that what you're getting?" She pointed at the tie he was holding.

"Yeah, it's ok right?"

"Yeah, it's the perfect tie to say 'Merry Christmas Dad, what do you say we continue being passive-aggressive and ignore each other for another year?' "Abby scoffed.

"Great. Then it is the right one." He said as they walked towards the counter.

"It is coffee break time now isn't it?" Abby asked as the cashier placed their purchases into a bag.

"Sure. You wanna go to that restaurant upstairs, it serves great pastries." Carter took his credit card back. "Thank you."

They were making their way out of the store and towards the escalator when Abby said, "Hey is that Luka? Who's he with?" She pointed at one of the crowds of people headed out of the elevator.

"No, I don't think so. If it is him, I'm sure we'll bump into him later." Carter mumbled as he led Abby through the mass of people walking towards them.

* * *

Sam and Luka walked hand in hand out of the mall and into the parking lot, snow was lightly falling and there was a chill in the air. "So are you going to tell me what this surprise is then? You know I don't like to wait till Christmas for my presents." She looked up to him and he silenced her with a kiss. 

"You can be so impatient." Luka paused in the middle of the path and wrapped his arms around Sam, bags and all. She craned her neck upwards and his breath washed over her, causing her eyelashes to flutter. He smiled. "You know I love you."

"I know. And you know that I ... you mean a lot to me." Luka smiled painfully. "I'm sorry that I can't say it." She continued. "But I want you to know that even though I keep going back and forth, changing my mind, that I am with you because I want to be. Because it feels right to be with you."

Luka pulled her tighter into his embrace. "Then that's the best thing that you can say right now. And that means a lot to me."

They continued walking towards Luka's car, once they had loaded their bags into the trunk and climbed in, Luka turned to Sam. "So, as for your Christmas gift ..."

"Yeah" she smiled excitedly.

"There's a conference I want you to go to in Detroit, it's on new techniques to treat respiratory distress in infants and I thought it might be helpful for you to bring back the knowledge for the Pedes ER." He explained.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "That's your gift to me? I didn't mean that, I was just sort of expecting ..."

Luka laughed. "I'm not finished. It takes place next weekend, and I've booked you into a great suite in a gorgeous hotel ..."

"You're giving me a weekend in a hotel in Detroit?"

"... And I'm off next weekend, so I thought I might take a trip to Detroit and maybe bump into you there." Sam beamed, her cheeks blushing pink. "And we can finally have some time alone, away from everything." Luka held out his hand for her to take. "So what do you think?"

Sam ran her fingers through his hair and crushed his lips with her's, as she pulled away they locked eyes and she whispered. "I think you were worth waiting all this time for."

* * *

Carter peered at Abby over the top of his menu but she was busy surveying the main courses. "Swordfish with raspberry coulis and grated parmesan? Gross! Who thinks up this shit?" 

The waitress arrived at their table, turned her nose up at Abby and addressed Carter only, "So Sir would you like to see our wine menu?"

"Um, no thanks we're good but could we get two cokes? And I think I'll have the 12oz sirloin, medium-rare please."

"And for you?" The young waitress scoffed at Abby.

"I'll have the spicy Italian meatballs please. And hold the salad." She forced a small smile onto her face which she transferred to Carter once the waitress had left.

He half-laughed. "That's one thing I always did love about you, that radiant charm of yours. Could you try to keep your sneers to yourself or at least out of earshot of the employees for the rest of today?"

"I don't know what her problem is, it's not like she makes it!" She snapped as she unfolded her napkin and flattened it onto her lap.

"So Abby, there's something I wanna ask you …" Carter paused while he took a sip of water.

"You're not gonna propose are you, because I gotta tell you, this isn't as romantic as your last attempt." She raised her eyebrows mischievously at him.

"Anyway … you know the Foundation have a Christmas ball every year – charity, homeless, cancer, etc etc. I was wondering if you would ... accompany me to this year's event. There's no one else but my best friend that I'd want to bring. I could throw in a new dress and shoes if it'll seal the deal."

He was expecting a sarcastic crack about rich people's guilt coming out for the holidays and a sneer but instead all Abby did was sigh. _"I'm gonna hurt him again, he's gonna hurt me." _Somehow, through her doubts and memories of the hard times of before there was a light that Abby clung to desperately and she saw the light in Carter's smile. "I'd love to, it's a date."


End file.
